- Ricky Stratton: I can't believe it. I finally met the woman of my dreams, and she dumps me. I'm only 12. Do you realize how many years I have left to be miserable?
- Ricky Stratton: Dad, I was wondering. Are you a monk?
- Edward Stratton III: [singing] What do you mean?
- Ricky Stratton: It's just that I've been here a while now, and you haven't gone out on any dates.
- Edward Stratton III: Well, son, I -- I thought it was important that I try to spend as much time as possible with you. Besides, I wasn't sure how you'd feel about me dating.
- Ricky Stratton: Come on, Dad. I wasn't born in the woods, you know. I understand when a man has needs.
- Edward Stratton III: You do?
- Ricky Stratton: Yeah! Sure, I have needs, too. I'm just too young to do anything about 'em.
- Ricky Stratton: [on the phone] Hello, Silly, this is Rocky. I mean... Ricky, this is Sally... . No, I'm not Sally. That's silly. Right, Rocky? Excuse me...
- [He hits his forehead with his hand repeatedly, then gets an idea]
- Ricky Stratton: Gimme that phone, Duane! Sally? This is Rick. Yeah, yeah, younger brothers...
- Ricky Stratton: You excited about your vacation?
- Kate Summers: Oh, not really. I've been on ocean cruises before. They're nothing but seasickness, sunburn, and bad food.
- Ricky Stratton: Then why do you go?
- Kate Summers: To have fun.
- Edward Stratton III: Come on, Kate, 'fess up. This is a singles cruise, right?
- Kate Summers: Edward, it's an opportunity for diverse, dignified people to meet and travel to foreign islands, thus learning the custom and the history of the indigenous natives.
- Edward Stratton III: Gee, sounds great. Who's the sponsor?
- Kate Summers: Club Whoopee.
- Ricky Stratton: You know sometimes, in Bugs Bunny cartoons, there'll be a thing where Bugs Bunny drives over Elmer Fudd with a steamroller... and Elmer Fudd comes out flat as a board? Well, that's how I feel... like a flat Fudd.
- Ricky Stratton: You're, um... you're new around here, aren't ya?
- Sally Frumbel: Yes, I just transferred. My name's Sally Frumbel. You have a name?
- Ricky Stratton: [stammering] My -- my name? Ri... um... Ricky... Ricky something.
- Sally Frumbel: [pointing to his book] Ricky Stratton?
- Ricky Stratton: [sheepishly] Yeah, right!
- [hits his forehead with his hand repeatedly]
- Sally Frumbel: Are you feeling okay?
- Ricky Stratton: Just a little dizzy. Probably ate some bad fish.