- Dr. Nadia Saint: Great men have great cum. Bad men have bad cum. Unworthy semen that brings fourth unworthy humans.
- Det. Jane Rosello: Just the idea that you can see into someone's life by touching their cock - it's astounding!
- Dr. Nadia Saint: It's called clairvoyance of the cock.
- Det. Jane Rosello: Gnosis.
- Det. John Brown: What?
- Det. Jane Rosello: Gnosis. The knowledge of the divine. When a man drains his nutsack at the moment of climax, his mind is said to go blank, and at that moment he can see God
- Dr. Nadia Saint: So the Mona Lisa was painted with cum?
- Prof. Lee Teabag: Why do you think she's smiling?
- Dr. Nadia Saint: I got 3 words for you, Professor: Recombinant DNA technology. All they need is the Da Vinci Load to establish a genetic code to create a new Da Vinci.