The Wedding Ringer (2015)

Josh Gad: Doug Harris

Photos 

Quotes 

• [from trailer] 

  Doug Harris : I want my real life to be as fun as the one I made up!

• Jimmy : This is what you have to understand, Doug. Some people are just loners. It's that simple, man.

  Doug Harris : Maybe I don't want to be. Maybe I just want someone to grab a beer with, to go on a cool guy trip with.

  Jimmy : You've never been on a guy trip, Doug? Cabo, Cancun, spring break? You've never done anything like that?

  Doug Harris : I never really had anyone to go with.

• Jimmy : It doesn't mean that we're not going to have a good time, Doug.

  Doug Harris : I said I got it. You're anybody's friend for a price, but nobody's when it counts.

• [from trailer] 

  Jimmy : Meet your groomsmen!

  [Doug looks at a bunch of strangers] 

  Doug Harris : These guys can not be my groomsmen. It looks like the entire cast of Goonies grew up and became rapists!

• Hal Lane : And your first dance will be to what song?

  Paige : To our song, "You Are So Beautiful". That's by Joe Cocker.

  Hal Lane : [sarcastically]  Thanks.

  Paige : [glances at Doug, who looks dissatisfied]  What?

  Doug Harris : That's not our song. That's not our song.

  Paige : Honey, of course it is! Babe, don't you remember? Your broken CD player repeated it over and over and over the first time we made love?

  Hal Lane : Aww.

  Paige : So amazing.

  Doug Harris : That wasn't... that wasn't me. That was your ex, Steve. And I know that 'cause you've told me the story about five times.

• [from trailer] 

  Doug Harris : What exactly do you do?

  Jimmy : I provide best man services for guys who lack in such areas.

  Doug Harris : So, I'm not alone?

  Jimmy : Alone? No! I run a very profitable business because of guys like you! How many weddings were in the US last year?

  Doug Harris : 2.4 million!

  Jimmy : That means 2.4 million grooms! You think each and everyone of them has someone as their best man?

• [from trailer] 

  Jimmy : I'm assuming you made up a name for me?

  Doug Harris : Bic Mitchum.

  Jimmy : Do I wear a cape? "Hello, ladies, what's going on? My name is Bic." "I'm Bic Mitchum and I love candy!" "Bic Mitchum can have whatever he wants!"... I like it.

  [later on] 

  Paige : Don't you think it's a little strange that your best man's name is... Bic Mitchum?

• [from trailer] 

  Jimmy : You can hide a fat ass in baggy pants, but you cannot hide a bad dancer!

  Doug Harris : You ask how a girl like Gretchen could fall for me? I took her dancing!

  [a dance off ensues] 

• Doug Harris : Doug: I want my real life to be as fun as the one I paid for.

  Jimmy : Jimmy: No shit, Doug. You don't think I want that? Hmm? You don't think I want to be a Delta Air Line pilot or the CFO of Lubriderm or whatever the hell else I made up, instead of being some guy that works out of a renovated fucking closet?

  Jimmy : Jimmy: You don't think I would ask Alison to come out and have a burrito with me? Me? With Jimmy Callahan? Or say, "Hey, Doug, come on, let's go have a beer next week." "Maybe we can catch a game."

  Jimmy : Jimmy: I want to do all of that shit, but I can't. Because I can't go out there and tell the truth. Because you need Bic.

  Jimmy : Jimmy: Nobody needs Jimmy, man. Okay? Not a single soul needs Jimmy.

  Jimmy : Jimmy: That's reality, Doug.

  Jimmy : Jimmy: I'm going to go out here and I'm going to make my toast, and me and you, we are done here.