The Ghost & Mrs. Muir (TV Series)

The Firehouse Five Plus Ghost (1969)

Charles Nelson Reilly: Claymore Gregg

Quotes 

• Claymore Gregg : There is a right way to make a fire and a wrong way. This is wrong. Actually, if I wasn't in such a hurry I'd make the fire myself by rubbing two stick together or by using flint and steel.

  Martha Grant : Well, you'll just have to rough it with bellows and kerosene.

• Claymore Gregg : [leaving a smoke-filled room]  Boy, I couldn't see a thing in there, Martha. This calls for drastic action.

  Martha Grant : Like what?

  Claymore Gregg : [raising up his extinguisher]  Well, like reading these instructions.

• Claymore Gregg : D'you realize that there are three generations of Schooner Bayites who just love that gallant old fire engine?

  Carolyn Muir : The radiator boiled over, the water pump didn't work, the hose didn't even have a nozzle, and the poor thing can't go but ten miles an hour.

  Claymore Gregg : So?

  Carolyn Muir : So?

  Claymore Gregg : So it has a few inconveniences. Where is your sentiment, Mrs. Muir?

  Carolyn Muir : Sentiment will not put out a fire.

  Claymore Gregg : Then I stand on the record: Only two houses have burned down in the past five years.

  Carolyn Muir : There've been only two fires in the last five years.

  Claymore Gregg : A mere detail.

• Claymore Gregg : [citing the current regulations that have not been changed since 1911]  There's not one thing on this paper, Commissioner, that that engine can not meet.

  [the fire brigade all starts to concur at once] 

  Claymore Gregg : At ease, men, steady, 'tention!

  [back to Commissioner Lilly] 

  Claymore Gregg : Including the emergency pair of blinders we carry for the horses.

  Fire Commissioner Lilly : [dryly]  You got a pair for me?