ER (TV Series)

Dying Is Easy... (2007)

Freddy Rodríguez: Simon

Photos 

Quotes 

• Nurse Samantha Taggart : Okay, little prick.

  Simon : It's just because it's cold in here.

• Dr. Abby Lockhart : Does it hurt here?

  Simon : No, but if you tug on Willy, I'll sing Dionne Warwick's greatest hits.

  Dr. Abby Lockhart : Tempting, but no thanks.

• Simon : Doc, doc, you gotta get me out of here, man. I got a hot date tonight.

  Dr. Archie Morris : Does, uh, she take air or helium?

  [chuckles] 

  Simon : She takes Visa. That was funny.

• Simon : Pee is funny. Bedpans, funny. Catheter, not so funny.

• Dr. Archie Morris : Epi has a one minute half-life.

  Simon : I have a body part with that same problem.

• Dr. Abby Lockhart : Your blood tests show that you have leukemia.

  Simon : Thank God! I thought you were gonna tell me I had cancer!

  Dr. Abby Lockhart : Leukemia is a cancer of the white blood cells in the bone marrow.

  Simon : That's great! That's great. So give me some Viagra, send me home, and we're all good!

  Dr. Abby Lockhart : This isn't funny.

  Simon : [suddenly serious]  I know.

• Simon : I got a nervous bladder and a neurotic sphincter. Seriously, it sucks. I can't be in public, and I'm afraid to fart in case I start a fire.

• Dr. Abby Lockhart : The EpiPen is spring-loaded, so all you have to do is press it against your thigh, and it fires off a shot.

  Simon : Ah. Sounds like my high school years.

• Simon : Why can't cancer be like herpes? I got that once and it never came back.