WandaVision (TV Mini Series)
Don't Touch That Dial (2021)
Kathryn Hahn: Agnes
Quotes
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Geraldine : Say, those pants are peachy keen.
Wanda Maximoff : Do you really think so? The other ladies are in skirts. I was worried.
Dottie : [interrupting] We only have a few hours until showtime, so a little less cross chatter and a little more focus.
Wanda Maximoff : Okay.
Dottie : Those little boys and girls are counting on us. All of this is for the children.
[the ladies chorus back "for the children"]
Wanda Maximoff : For the children.
Geraldine : So, I want you all to give yourselves a big hand...
[Wanda begins clapping]
Dottie : ...at the appropriate time, of course. But first, let's review event etiquette. Dress code is upscale garden party...
Geraldine : The only reason I didn't clap is because I'm afraid to move.
Wanda Maximoff : Yeah.
Geraldine : I actually don't know what I'm doing here.
Wanda Maximoff : I'm starting to feel that way myself. I'm Wanda.
Geraldine : [shaking hands] I'm, uh... Geraldine.
Wanda Maximoff : Hi.
Dottie : And I'm irritated. Tickets for tonight are completely sold out. Now, you can clap.
[the ladies applaud]
Dottie : And stop.
Agnes : How is anybody doing this sober?
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Agnes : So, are you ready to meet Queen Cul de Sac and her merry homemakers?
Wanda Maximoff : Agnes, Dottie can't be as bad as you say.
Agnes : Hmm. Well, you'll notice her roses bloom under penalty of death. Wanda, can I give you a bit of friendly advice?
Wanda Maximoff : Is it about the way I'm dressed?
Agnes : Yes, but it's too late for that. Dottie is the key to everything in this town. Country club memberships, parties, school admissions...
Wanda Maximoff : Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Agnes : You get in with Dottie and it'll be smooth sailing from here on out. Just mind your P's and Q's and you're gonna do just fine.
Wanda Maximoff : Or maybe I could just be myself? More or less?
Agnes : [laughing] Oh, Wanda, that's good.
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Agnes : [Making finger guns at Dennis] Stick em' up!
Dennis the Mailman : Oh, don't shoot I'm just a messenger.
Agnes : [Shooting] Pew! Pew!
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Agnes : Really, how is anybody doing this sober?