- Serena van der Woodsen: Blair, Blair, wait, where are you going? Blair, wait, why are you so mad?
- Blair Waldorf: Why am I mad? You mean why aren't I furious! I can't believe for one second I thought it would be different this time.
- Serena van der Woodsen: You thought what would be different?
- Blair Waldorf: You couldn't deal with the spotlight shining on me for once, could you?
- Serena van der Woodsen: What are you talking about? I was told we were doing this together. What, did you not get my message?
- Blair Waldorf: What about this morning then? When you glanced at the call sheet, did you see my name on it? When I wasn't in hair and makeup, didn't that seem strange? When the dressing room only had your name on the door, what, did you think they just forgot?
- Serena van der Woodsen: I was told you were running late and they asked me to do some tests shots first. Blair, they told me you wanted me here.
- Blair Waldorf: And you believe them?
- Serena van der Woodsen: Look, Blair, I encouraged you to do this. Why would I try to steal something from you that I pushed you to do?
- Blair Waldorf: Because you take everything from me! Nate, my mom!
- Serena van der Woodsen: Blair!
- Blair Waldorf: You can't even help it, it's who you are. I just thought maybe this time it would be different. I should've known I'd be wrong.
- Chuck Bass: As much as I love hearing about not needing material things from a guy with *that* much product in his hair, this party is about excess.
- Dan Humphrey: I don't know about Serena, Dad. I can't tell if she's worth it.
- Rufus Humphrey: What do you mean?
- Dan Humphrey: Well, uh, she's best friends with this girl, Blair Waldorf, who is basically everything I hate about the Upper East Side distilled into one 95-pound, doe-eyed, bonmot-tossing, label-whoring package of girly evil.
- Rufus Humphrey: [chuckling] No one's that bad.
- Dan Humphrey: She is. I would barely be exaggerating if I told you Medusa wants her withering glare back.
- Blair Waldorf: Oh God, I forgot what it was like to be with you.
- [Serena and Blair pass two guys admiring them]
- Serena van der Woodsen: No, they were looking at both of us.
- Blair Waldorf: Don't insult me. It's been like this all morning, starting with your lovely visit with my mother. She didn't even call me to tell me she was coming home.
- Serena van der Woodsen: Well, she was busy, she was rushing to get home and everything, because she wanted to see you.
- Blair Waldorf: She didn't even wake me up.
- Serena van der Woodsen: Well, you know how Eleanor feels about beauty rest.
- Blair Waldorf: She likes you more than me.
- Serena van der Woodsen: She does not. You're her daughter. She doesn't like anyone more than you. She just, I dunno, doesn't know how to show it sometimes.
- Blair Waldorf: Okay, I'm going inside. Wait for me, I'll be right back.
- Gossip Girl: [voice-over] You didn't hear it from us but in every girl's life there comes a moment when she realizes that her mother just might be more messed up than she is.
- Blair Waldorf: Serena sent you here to talk to me?
- Dan Humphrey: No believe it or not I actually came here myself.
- Blair Waldorf: Normally I wouldn't be this close to you without a tetanus shot.
- Chuck Bass: What is Carter still doing here?
- Nate Archibald: I invited him.
- Chuck Bass: Or he invited himself. That is his style. Begging us to break free of our prisms while stuffing his face with free food and draining our booze. He's a deadbeat and a hypocrite.
- Nate Archibald: And a good ball player if I remember right. You sure you just don't want to lose to him now, Chuck?
- Carter Baizen: Maybe if your daddy bought you a basketball team instead of a hotel you'd have some skill.
- Chuck Bass: Look, this is the last weekend for juniors, not senior citizens. Go jump into a volcano.
- Carter Baizen: We'll just settle it on the court.
- Chuck Bass: Settle it right now.
- Nate Archibald: Hey, chill out!
- Chuck Bass: No! This is my game. I pick the players.
- Carter Baizen: I get it, I'll go.
- Nate Archibald: Hey, hey, man, is that card game tonight?
- Carter Baizen: Yeah.
- Nate Archibald: Text me the address later.
- Carter Baizen: I will.
- [Carter leaves]
- Nate Archibald: You didn't have to do that, man!
- Chuck Bass: Nobody wanted him here. He's an older brother bringing everyone down.
- Nate Archibald: Let's just play some ball.
- Gossip Girl: [voice-over] Spotted: Lonely Boy's rude awakening. Upper East Side queens aren't born at the top, they climb their way up in heels no matter who they have to tread on to do it.
- Blair Waldorf: Did you choose Serena over me? You could've picked a stranger; you didn't have to choose my best friend. What, you think I wouldn't have found out?
- Eleanor Waldorf: I was going to tell you tonight at dinner. There was no right decision. There wasn't any time. I know you can understand all this. It was mishandled, the whole thing from top to bottom.
- Blair Waldorf: You actually want me to agree with you.
- Eleanor Waldorf: Bendel's will legitimize this company. It will take everything to the next level, you know how hard I have worked for that. You've always been my biggest supporter, my biggest fan.
- Blair Waldorf: I'm your daughter.
- Eleanor Waldorf: And as my daughter, I knew that you would forgive me, in time, but if my company had lost this deal because of you, I'd never forgive myself.
- Blair Waldorf: I hope you never do.
- Serena van der Woodsen: So, you were right.
- Blair Waldorf: I know.
- Serena van der Woodsen: When I got that call I should've known you had nothing to do with it and I should never had pushed you to do this whole thing in the first place.
- Blair Waldorf: Actually I'm glad you pushed me. It ended up being a very important day for me. I just thought it was gonna be more fun.
- Serena van der Woodsen: I know me too.
- [the girls hug]
- Serena van der Woodsen: Hey you know what, who says it still can't be? Come on, come on!
- [the girls run off and steal Blair's mom's clothes]
- Chuck Bass: [to the boys attending his weekend-long exclusive party] You eat what I provide, practice what I preach and 'till I say so, the only girls you talk to are the ones I've paid for.
- Chuck Bass: [speech to kick-off a weekend-long party] You've lived through Ivy Week and hopefully gained entry to the college of your choice. Now, let's ruin those chances.
- Photographer: [at Blair's failing photoshoot] To my eye, like a goddess. To this eye,
- [meaning his camera]
- Photographer: blah, like a statue. This is retail, not an editorial. She needs to let go, have fun, loosen up. How's the client going to like the dress if the model doesn't even like herself?
- Rufus Humphrey: [surprised to see Lily] It's been almost 20 years.
- Lily van der Woodsen: And you still don't know women.
- Serena van der Woodsen: [after Blair answered her phone and mocked Dan] I'm so, so sorry about that.
- Dan Humphrey: And I'm so, so ready to hang up.
- Gossip Girl: [voice-over, as Blair wakes up] The rules for a model the day of the photo-shoot are similar to that of a patient pre-surgery. No food or drink twelve hours prior,
- [Blair's bare feet glide into her slippers]
- Gossip Girl: wear comfortable clothing, and make sure your affairs are in order. You never know what could go wrong in a flash.
- Serena van der Woodsen: [Blair's cell-phone beeps] Hey, B, you must either be sleeping or already on your way. I can't wait to see you. We're gonna have so much fun!
- Eleanor Waldorf: [as Blair goes downstairs] Oh, thank God you're awake!
- Blair Waldorf: Am I late? Oh, my God, oh, my God, did I oversleep?
- Eleanor Waldorf: Darling, I have some bad news. Terry, that fool of a photographer, thinks we need to go in a different direction.
- Blair Waldorf: With the theme?
- Eleanor Waldorf: With the model.
- Blair Waldorf: Oh.
- Eleanor Waldorf: Darling, I hired these people for their expertise. And ultimately, they feel that... we would be doing the brand a disservice. I... I cannot apologize enough. I know you were really looking forward to this.
- Blair Waldorf: No, I wasn't. I'm glad... I'm glad I don't have to go. I hate shoots. They're so boring. You should have Alessandra Ambrosio, not an amateur.
- Eleanor Waldorf: We"ll have dinner afterwards, yes?
- [hugs her daughter]
- Eleanor Waldorf: Steak frites and crepes at Cafe Desertistes. Just like old times. I will see you later.
- [goes off, blowing kisses]
- Blair Waldorf: [leaving voice-mail] Hey, S. I hope you're not already there, because as it turns out, my modeling career is over faster than Jessica Simpson's acting one. Now that I think about it, maybe we should crash the shoot anyway. See who they replaced me with. Make fun of the skinny bitch?
- Gossip Girl: [the girls got back at Eleanor by swiping the dresses set out for the shoot] This just in: S and B committing a crime of fashion. Who doesn't like a five-finger discount? Especially if one of those fingers is the middle one.
- Serena van der Woodsen: [trying to save the doomed fashion shoot, she compliments Blair] But, look, can I just give you a little advice?
- Blair Waldorf: How did I know this was coming?
- Serena van der Woodsen: No, no, look, all you need to do is maybe you could, uh, loosen up a little, you know? Shake it up!
- [Blair chuckles]
- Serena van der Woodsen: Uh, maybe you could be goofy like when we were ten and we would dance to "Genie In A Bottle" in your mom's clothes.
- Blair Waldorf: Help me, help me.
- Serena van der Woodsen: Um, okay. Act like a tiger, okay? Come on!
- [does playful comical tiger roar]