- Dale: Well, to answer your question, it's just great. See, I get to wander around the house in my underwear and I can make whatever bodily noises I choose whenever I choose.
- George Cooper Sr: Oh, I do that now.
- Dale: Well then you got yourself a keeper.
- Lisa: Hi Georgie, it's Lisa from English class.
- Georgie Cooper: Oh hey, what's up?
- Lisa: I was wondering if you could help me with our homework.
- Georgie Cooper: Crap! We have homework?
- George Cooper Sr: If he comes to his senses and dumps you, I'm gonna stay friends with him.
- Connie 'Meemaw' Tucker: Good. If he dumps me, he deserves to suffer.
- Mary Cooper: [after Missy charges the mound] Do something, break it up.
- George Cooper Sr: Hang on, she's winnin!
- Dale: I was married for 18 years and I gotta tell ya, it was the two best years of my life.
- George Cooper Sr: What's it like, you bein' single at yer age?
- Dale: Are you thinkin' about it?