The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Peanut Reaction (2008)

Kaley Cuoco: Penny

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Penny is trying to convince Sheldon to buy Leonard a gift] 

  Howard Wolowitz : Try telling him it's a non-optional social convention.

  Penny : What?

  Howard Wolowitz : Just do it.

  Penny : It's - it's a non-optional social convention.

  Sheldon Cooper : Ah, fair enough.

  Howard Wolowitz : He came with a manual.

• Leonard : How did you know my birthday's Saturday?

  Penny : I did your horoscope, remember? I was going to do everybody's until Sheldon went on one of his typical psychotic rants.

  Sheldon Cooper : For the record, that psychotic rant was a concise summation of the research of Bertram Forer, who, in 1948, proved conclusively through meticulously designed experiments that astrology is nothing but pseudoscientific hokum.

  Penny : Blah, blah, blah, a typical Taurus.

• Howard Wolowitz : We're in a hospital right now.

  Penny : Why? Is Leonard okay?

  Howard Wolowitz : Leonard's fine. I'm fine, thanks for asking, by the way.

  Penny : Okay, I don't need your attitude. Listen, just hold him there a little longer.

  Howard Wolowitz : Look, I've done my best, but he wants to go home and I don't know how to stop him.

  Penny : Okay. How about this? You keep him there a little longer and when you get to the party, I'll point out which of my friends are easy.

  [Howard remains silent, unsure what he just heard] 

  Howard Wolowitz : Don't toy with me, woman.

  Penny : I got a hot former fat girl with no self esteem, I got a girl who punishes her father by sleeping around, and an alcoholic who's two tequila shots away from letting you wear her like a hat.

  Howard Wolowitz : Thy will be done.

  [Howard hangs up and pulls the peanut-filled granola bar out of his back pocket] 

  Howard Wolowitz : [to his groin]  I'm doing this for you, little buddy.

• Penny : [to Leonard]  This is the saddest thing I've ever heard.

  Howard Wolowitz : You think?

  Howard Wolowitz : [to Leonard]  Go ahead - tell her about your senior prom.

• Penny : Okay, here's the deal: you either you help me throw Leonard a birthday party, or so help me, God, I will go into your bedroom, and unbag all of your most valuable, mint-condition comic books and, on one of them, you won't know which, I'll draw a tiny little happy face in ink.

  Sheldon Cooper : You can't do that! If you make a mark in a mint comic book, it's no longer mint.

  Penny : Sheldon, do you understand the concept of blackmail?

  Sheldon Cooper : Well, of course I... Oh... Hey, I have an idea: let's throw Leonard a kick-ass birthday party!

• Leonard : I don't celebrate my birthday

  Penny : Shut up. Yeah, you do.

  Leonard : It's no big deal. It's the way I was raised. My parents focused on celebrating achievements and being expelled from a birth canal was not considered one of them.

  Penny : That's so silly.

  Sheldon : It's actually based on very sound theories. His mother published a paper on it.

  Penny : Well, what was it called? "l Hate My Son and That's Why He Can't Have Cake"?

  Sheldon : It was obviously effective. Leonard grew up to be an experimental physicist. Perhaps if she'd also denied him Christmas, he'd be a little better at it.

• Sheldon Cooper : Leonard made it very clear he doesn't want a party.

  Howard Wolowitz : Did someone say "party"?

  Penny : He just doesn't know he wants one because he's never had one.

  Howard Wolowitz : I suppose that's possible. But, for the record, I've never had a threesome, yet I still know I want one.