Psych (TV Series)

Gus Walks Into a Bank (2008)

James Roday Rodriguez: Shawn Spencer

Quotes 

• Juliet O'Hara : Why didn't you go in the bank?

  Shawn Spencer : We came here to make a deposit. That's not really a two-man job. What, we both should have grabbed a corner of the check and gingerly walked it in together?

• Burton 'Gus' Guster : Oh, and Shawn...I just want you to know that no matter what happens, I care about you, and I appreciate you, and, well...I love you, Shawn.

  [Gus hugs Shawn] 

  Shawn Spencer : Okay, buddy. I hear you. You know I'm going to be back in, like, half an hour, right? Wow...that is a tight hug.

• Carlton Lassiter : I am breaking about fifty codes of police procedure just by talking to you about this.

  Shawn Spencer : Aargh! Code! That is your biggest problem!

  Carlton Lassiter : Oh, it's my problem?

  Shawn Spencer : Just once, can you grab life by the little Lassiters and follow your instincts? I know you don't like my methods. I know you don't like *me*. But we are pressed for time, and I'm telling you, I am vibing like crazy! Can we screw protocol and get the hell out of here?

  [pause] 

  Carlton Lassiter : You take shotgun.

  Shawn Spencer : You are so sexy right now!

• Shawn Spencer : All right, Jules, give me one good reason why you find this guy attractive.

  Juliet O'Hara : Shawn...

  Shawn Spencer : You can't give me one?

  Juliet O'Hara : I can think of many!

  Shawn Spencer : Is one of them that you're looking forward to giving him sponge baths in the near future?

  Juliet O'Hara : I happen to find his age and his maturity appealing. He is distinguished and virile and, most importantly, he knows who he is, and *that* is attractive.

  Carlton Lassiter : [amused]  You two know I'm in the van, right?

• Shawn Spencer : Well, if you remember, I'm holding a bit of a grudge against this particular banking institution.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Why, because they turned you down for a small business loan last year?

  Shawn Spencer : Yes, because they turned me down for a small business loan! That was completely legitimate, Gus.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Shawn, it was for a zip-line pulley system to transport snacks from the kitchen to your desk.

  Shawn Spencer : Or the reception area. What's your point?

• Shawn Spencer : [watching Luntz's overly theatrical entrance]  And...cut! Great, dripping with swagger. Let's go again, though, and maybe ease up on the cocksure smile just a bit. I liked it, I'm just not sure it's going to play in the Midwest.

• Shawn Spencer : Chief, Elder Commanding Officer Luntz, you need to let me get involved here. You need to let me scope things out.

  Karen Vick : Absolutely not. You're not a trained tactical officer, Spencer.

  Commander Cameron Lutz : Are we positive he's even house trained?

  Shawn Spencer : [pretends to laugh]  Okay, all right. Maybe you and I got off on the wrong foot. And you know what? You're right. I have had a few close calls around the house recently. But I can help you.

• [Shawn had just called Lassiter "partner"] 

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : "Partner"? Uh, excuse me, what was that about?

  Shawn Spencer : Well, you got to admit, it's better than a little boy cat...or a little girl cat.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Not appreciated, Shawn.

• [Shawn tackles Phil to save him from a sniper's bullet] 

  Shawn Spencer : Free hugs. Who's next?

• Shawn Spencer : Go ahead. Slap me in the face, tell me they call you Mister Tibbs.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : I'm not doing that.

  Shawn Spencer : Come on. It'll make you feel better.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : [clears his throat]  They call me *Mister*...

  [beat] 

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : I'm not doing that.

  Shawn Spencer : You were one word away!

• Shawn Spencer : You know I'm not a regular person, right, Phil?

  Phil Stubbins : What does that mean?

  Shawn Spencer : I tried once and failed. I'm just too unique and interesting. The French call it "du fromage", which, loosely translated, means "of cheese".

• Shawn Spencer : [to Gresling]  Do you recall rejecting a small business loan for a zip-line snack transportation system, calling it, and I quote, "fiscally irresponsible"?

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Shawn...

  Nathaniel Gresling : Yes, I do.

  Shawn Spencer : Well, Mr. Nathanial Gresling, this little task of retrieving the Mini Oreos took me fourteen seconds. Zip-line? Whoosh! Five. Fiscally irresponsible? Nay, I call that my fiscal obligation to my shareholders, namely Gus here.

• Burton 'Gus' Guster : Part of running a business together, Shawn, is sharing in the responsibilites of the "business" side of the business...like making deposits.

  Shawn Spencer : What about the "bidness" side? Cause I'm more of a "bidness" man. Who's covering that?