South Park (TV Series)

Tonsil Trouble (2008)

Trey Parker: Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman, Doctor #1, Mr. Mackey, Jimmy Valmer, Jimmy Buffet, Dr. Doctor, Clyde, Airport Ticket Clerk, Butler, Magic Johnson, Mitch, Doctor #3

Quotes 

• [repeated line] 

  Eric Cartman : I'm not just sure, I'm HIV positive.

• Kyle Broflovski : Will you stop it with that? What part of this is funny to you?

  Eric Cartman : Kyle, we need to try to find out...

  Kyle Broflovski : What part of being infected with a deadly disease do you find funny?

  Eric Cartman : I don't think it's funny, Kyle.

  Kyle Broflovski : Then stop saying you're not just sure, you're HIV positive! This isn't funny, AIDS isn't funny, dying isn't funny, so shut the fuck up!

  Eric Cartman : Well, excuse me, Kyle, for trying to keep some optimism, you know, you know, sometimes when things seem their darkest, you just need to try and stay... HIV positive, but if you want to be so HIV negative all the time...

  Kyle Broflovski : KNOCK IT OFF, RIGHT NOW! THIS ISN'T FUNNY! AT ALL!

  Eric Cartman : Are you sure?

  Kyle Broflovski : YES!

  Eric Cartman : Are you HIV positive?

  [Kyle punches him in the face] 

  Eric Cartman : Ah! Ow! Fuck, Kyle!

• Eric Cartman : Nobody likes Jimmy Buffett, except for frat boys and alcoholic chicks from the South!