- Matt Damon: Hey, Molly. Put your mask on, I'll be right in. Have fun, Jimmy, in Lake... whatever. Who gives a shit where you're going!
- Self - Host: Yeah, I will. Enjoy your summer in... wherever the fuck you're going.
- Matt Damon: I will! I'm going into your wife!
- Self - Host: [to the audience] I'm very sorry you had to hear that. I will be, uh, getting a divorce. Then we'll be right back with Pharell Williams.
- Matt Damon: [on Tori Spelling's book] It's so stupid.
- Self - Host: You're so stupid!
- Self - Host: [Jimmy sees Molly sneaking out of the room Matt Damon was in] Hey, that's my... that's my WIFE! What is she doing in the room with you?
- Matt Damon: What do you think she's doing in the room?
- Self - Host: [Jimmy realizes the truth] You son of a BITCH! You did it again!
- Matt Damon: [boastfully] That's right, Bobby Baby Balls.