The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Work Song Nanocluster (2009)

Simon Helberg: Howard Wolowitz

Photos 

Quotes 

• Penny : [about the website Leonard designed for Penny's business]  It seems a little juvenile. It looks like the MySpace page of a thirteen year-old girl.

  Leonard Hofstadter : No it doesn't!

  Howard Wolowitz : Dateline could use it to attract predators.

• [Leonard, Howard, and Raj are playing "Secret Agent LASER Obstacle Chess"] 

  Howard Wolowitz : Hey! You know what would be a great idea? We get some girls over here and play LASER obstacle strip chess.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Believe me, Howard, any girl who would be willing to play that you don't want to see naked.

  Howard Wolowitz : You underestimate me.

• Howard Wolowitz : Leonard died again, Sheldon. You're up.

  Sheldon Cooper : Despite my deep love of chess, lasers, and aerosol disinfectant, I must forfeit.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Why?

  Sheldon Cooper : Because it's almost 11:00.

  Leonard Hofstadter : So?

  Sheldon Cooper : So Penny has a "don't knock on my door before 11:00 or I punch you in the throat" rule.

• Sheldon Cooper : Camouflaging bald spots is primarily a male concern. Perhaps we could expand our market.

  Penny : How are flower barrettes gonna appeal to men?

  Howard Wolowitz : We add Bluetooth!

  Sheldon Cooper : Brilliant! Men love Bluetooth!

  Penny : Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You want to make a hair barrette with Bluetooth?

  Sheldon Cooper : Penny - Everything is better with Bluetooth.

• Sheldon Cooper : Before we set up a marketing and distribution infrastructure, we should finish optimizing the manufacturing process. To start with, she has a terrible problem with moisture-induced glitter clump.

  Penny : Yeah, it's a bitch!

  Howard Wolowitz : [Inspecting bottle of glitter]  Ah, I've seen this before.

  Penny : Where?

  Howard Wolowitz : It's a common stripper problem: they dance, they sweat, they clump.

  Penny : Eww.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Are you thinking of adding a desiccant like calcium sulfate?

  Howard Wolowitz : Actually, I'm thinking about this one stripper named Vega.

• Penny : How the hell are we gonna make a thousand Penny Blossoms

  [Penny's hair product] 

  Penny : in one day?... I'm gonna have to call them and cancel that order.

  Sheldon Cooper : Excuse me, but was this not your goal? Financial independence through entrepreneurial brilliance and innovation? My brilliance and innovation, of course, but still.

  Penny : I just don't see how we can pull this off.

  Sheldon Cooper : That, right there! That equivocation and self-doubt. That is not the American spirit. Did Davy Crockett quit at the Alamo? Did Jim Bowie?

  Howard Wolowitz : They didn't give up, they were massacred! By like a gazillion angry Mexicans!