- Officer Ziva David: You can't make an omelet without breaking some legs.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You're never making me breakfast.
- Officer Ziva David: That is the truth.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: It's supposed to be 'eggs'.
- Officer Ziva David: Cook them yourself.
- Jackie Vance: [seeing the toothpick in Leon's mouth] You know I don't like it when you chew on those things.
- NCIS Director Leon Vance: What do you say, David? Want to go a few rounds?
- Officer Ziva David: I think that would violate my primary assignment.
- NCIS Director Leon Vance: Only if you managed to lay a glove on me.
- Issac Curtis: Excuse me, darling, but this gym ain't co-ed.
- Officer Ziva David: Another time.
- NCIS Director Leon Vance: Just say when.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [smacks DiNozzo] Snap out of it!
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I have no response to that.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [standing on a chair, addressing the squad room] Excuse me? Okay, listen up everybody, I need your full attention here! Lenny, Squiggy, Q-Tip, Q-Bert, Bongo Straits, Vertical Bill - can you here me back there?
- [noticing an attractive woman at the front of the group]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Oh, hi, Natalie. Hi. You look nice today.
- [raises voice again]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I have lost my wallet. So if you've seen it, please return it to me, there will be no judgment, maybe even a small reward.
- [turns and sees Gibbs looking up at him]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Hey, Boss. I lost my...
- [hops down]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You were going to say "mind" or "marbles" but, uh, I lost my...
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Job?
- [Tony shuts up]
- Tara Kole: Teek? Is that you?
- NCIS Director Leon Vance: You have a decision to make Tara. Do we walk out of here, or do I carry you?
- NCIS Director Leon Vance: I understand you might feel your toes being stepped on, Agent Gibbs. Me handing out assignments to your team.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Not taking it personally.
- NCIS Director Leon Vance: Are you suggesting I am?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Are you?
- NCIS Director Leon Vance: [to McGee who's standing next to him] May I have the room, please?
- [McGee leaves, Leon sits down, then addresses the people in MTAC]
- NCIS Director Leon Vance: Both rooms.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I said, "new director", by the way, not "nude erector". That's a homophone. Unintentional, of course.
- NCIS Director Leon Vance: [Not taking the envelope Gibbs is holding out] You hold onto it, keep me honest.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [Shrugging and turning to leave] Don't know if it's necessary, I ever need to know anything
- NCIS Director Leon Vance: [Interrupting] Yeah, I know, you'll ask my wife.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Uh-uh.
- [small smile]