Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie (2009)

Jon Cryer: Alan Harper

Quotes 

• Alan Harper : This is so nice! A private, intimate dinner for just the two of us.

  [Acts surprised as he enters the room] 

  Alan Harper : Oh, my God! You guys!

  Alan Harper : [after seeing an empty table]  There's nobody here.

  Melissa : I don't understand it. I told them to be here an hour ago.

  Alan Harper : Yeah, well, what are you gonna do? My family are a bunch of thoughtless, selfish buttwipes!

  [Alan sees Charlie, Berta, Jake and Evelyn at the door, where they hear his comments] 

  Charlie Harper : Surprise.