- Chelsea: [the four are at a restaurant, where Chelsea sets up Alan with the "perfect date", Rose] Charlie, Alan, this is my friend, Rose. Rose, this is Charlie and Alan.
- Rose: [pointing a handshake towards Charlie] It's nice to meet you, Alan.
- Chelsea: No, that's Charlie.
- Rose: Ooh! Even better! Hi Alan!
- Alan Harper: [monotone] Hi.
- Chelsea: Why don't we all sit down?
- Charlie Harper: So many reasons...
- [Rose pulls alongside Alan as they drive]
- Rose: [upset] You didn't call!
- Alan Harper: What's that?
- Rose: You said you'd call me and you didn't call!
- Jake Harper: Hi, Rose!
- Rose: [suddenly cheerful] Hey, Jake!
- Rose: [during blind date] Alan, I understand you're a chiropractor?
- Alan Harper: Yes. I am a chiropractor. Charlie?
- Charlie Harper: Yes. He's a chiropractor.
- Rose: Oh, that's just terrific. And what do you do, Charlie?
- Charlie Harper: Um... I write... kids songs and... jingles. Alan?
- Alan Harper: Yes. He writes kids songs and jingles. And I am a chiropractor.
- Charlie Harper: Yes. He's a chiropractor.
- Charlie Harper: So, you actually want to be with him?
- Rose: I do.
- Charlie Harper: And you believe she has no ulterior motive whatsoever?
- Alan Harper: I do.
- Charlie Harper: Fine! I now pronounce you fruitbasket and nutcase. And God have mercy on your souls.