Late Night with Conan O'Brien (TV Series)

Brendan Frasier/Steve Schirripa/The Airborne Toxic Event (2008)

Robert Smigel: Triumph the Insult Comic Dog

Quotes 

• Triumph the Insult Comic Dog : [at ComicCon '08]  Okay, you're not dressed as anything.

  ComicCon attendee : No.

  Triumph the Insult Comic Dog : You like superheroes though?

  ComicCon attendee : Yeah.

  Triumph the Insult Comic Dog : Yeah, you're obviously, looks to me like you're a fan of the Fantastic Four food groups!

• Triumph the Insult Comic Dog : [at ComicCon '08]  I love these people. These are my people, they really are. You know? They're into the comic books, I, I, for years I used to love reading comic books. Then I turned seven.

• Triumph the Insult Comic Dog : [at ComicCon '08]  What are you supposed to be?

  Waluigi Cosplayer : Waluigi.

  Triumph the Insult Comic Dog : Oh no. Okay, this is what's known as "lowering the bar".

• Triumph the Insult Comic Dog : Now we've got the Joker here...

  Joker Cosplayer : [laughing maniacally]  Yeah.

  Triumph the Insult Comic Dog : Sorry, folks, this guy is still getting adjusted to west coast time. He's three hours behind his normal masturbating schedule.

• Triumph the Insult Comic Dog : There's nothing funnier than seeing the lame puppeteer too! This a great thing, I kid, I kid. I just want to know, um, just clear up one thing for me: If you're HERE, who's home disappointing your parents?

  Man With Puppet : [chuckles] 

  [talking as the puppet] 

  Man With Puppet : Uh, I don't know, you got me.

  Triumph the Insult Comic Dog : I was talking to, I was talking to, you're MUCH cooler.

  Man With Puppet : My parents are dead.

  [Triumph stares him down for several seconds; finally the man licks Triumph's nose]