- Lil DeVille: [Before The Princess and the Pea test] I can feel it when Phil pees through a whole bunch of blankets; does that makes me a princess?
- Angelica Pickles: No, that just makes you both disgusting.
- Tommy: Hey, Chuckie?
- Chuckie: What, Tommy, What? I'm trying to sleep!
- Tommy: I was just thinking about green Jello.
- Chuckie: Green Jello?
- Tommy: Yeah, how do they do it?
- Chuckie: Do what?
- Tommy: Make it green.
- Chuckie: I don't know, Tommy, I'm going to sleep.
- [Tommy goes to sleep but Chuckie lies awake wide eyed]
- Chuckie: How *do* they make it green?
- Phil DeVille: [after Tommy and Chuckie look forward to spending the long weekend together] You wanna tell them, Lil?
- Lil DeVille: Maybe you better...
- Phil DeVille: [sighs] Alright. See you guys live together, you're gonna start fighting all the time.
- Tommy: Come on, you guys. Me and Chuckie are bestest friends.
- Phil DeVille: Sure, now.
- Lil DeVille: But soon, you'll start to bug each other.
- Phil DeVille: First, it's just little things; like forgetting to share a toy.
- Lil DeVille: But it'll get worse. Everything they do'll bug ya.
- Phil DeVille: The way they drink their milk...
- Lil DeVille: The way they roll that ball...
- [bounces it on the floor]
- Phil DeVille: The way she wears her ribbon in her hair...
- Lil DeVille: The way he has a stupid, ugly duck on his shirt...
- Phil DeVille: The way her shoes are never tied...
- Lil DeVille: The way his diaper smells like poo!
- Phil DeVille: The way...
- Tommy: [cutting Phil off] Guys! Where do you get these crazy ideas?
- Chuckie: Yeah, you two guys live together without any problems.
- [the twins sigh]
- Chuckie: [Tommy has just finished putting away the toy blocks like he was shown but Chuckie doesn't seem satisfied] Erm... Tommy?
- Tommy: Yeah?
- Chuckie: Do you remember what I told you about the blocks?
- Tommy: Yeah, Chuckie. I put em' away by size and colour.
- [by rote]
- Tommy: Big to small. Big to small.
- Chuckie: You forgot shape.
- Tommy: [incredulous] Shape?
- Chuckie: You see... this block is a friangle. It should be put in with the friangles. And this block is a square so it should go with the other squares. And this block is a... well, it's a funny-looking shape and it should go with the other funny-looking shapes. Let me explain it again. You see, this block is a friangle...
- [Tommy's been watching all this and his irritation builds until he defiantly kicks over the whole tower of blocks]
- Chuckie: You're just gonna leave em' like that, aren't you? The red blocks are all mixed with the blue ones and the squares are with the friangles and you don't even care! You really don't care!
- [Chuckie starts bawling his eyes out and soon Tommy joins in]
- Charlotte Pickles: Don't you see? If Angelica's ever gonna make it in a male-dominated power structure, she's gotta eat, breathe, drink, and sweat self-esteem!
- Chuckie: [When Tommy is playing with Chuckie's toy] No, Tommy, no!
- Tommy: What's wrong, Chuckie?
- Chuckie: What's wrong? What's wrong? Look what you did. It's all ruined!
- Tommy: What's all ruined, Chuckie?
- Chuckie: The Bogo Block Village! The police car is in the fire station, the fire truck's at the airport, the airplane's on top of the restaurant, people are hanging out of windows, buildings are moved, and you've completely taken apart city hall!
- [in a baby "Star Trek" parody]
- Baby Spock: We can't abort the entire mission for one lost teddy bear, captain. It's just not logical.
- Baby Bones McCoy: You and your infernal logic! Can't you see? We're babies, not computers!
- Drew Pickles: Angelica, you haven't cleaned up any of your toys!
- Angelica Pickles: Like my drawing, Daddy?
- Drew Pickles: Sweetie, remember how Daddy and Angelica made a deal? Daddy buys Angelica the $400.00 video game set and Angelica cleans her room once a month?
- Angelica Pickles: I didn't feel like it this month.
- Drew Pickles: Listen, Angelica, whether or not you "feel like it'" your toys have to be put away. You got it?
- Angelica Pickles: Got it! Starting next month.
- Drew Pickles: Angelica, this is the end of the line! I am afraid I'm gonna have to take some action! I'm... I'm... I'm gonna... I'm gonna talk to Mommy about your behavior.
- Chuckie: I don't know, Angelica. If you're a real princess, how come you don't have a crown?
- Phil DeVille: Yeah, and how come you don't live in a castle?
- Lil DeVille: And how come your mommy and daddy aren't a king and a queen?
- Angelica Pickles: Don't you get it? Those grown-ups downstairs, Mr. and Mrs. Pickles, or whatever their name is. They're not my real mommy and daddy. They're my evil steppartents.
- Tommy: Then I'm not really your cousin?
- Angelica Pickles: Sorry, Tommy. You're just a simple pheasant.
- Angelica Pickles: Daddy, can I ask you a favor?
- Drew Pickles: Anything you want, princess.
- Angelica Pickles: Don't call me princess.
- Tommy: Hey, let's go play with Mr. Banana Head!
- Chuckie: Um, Tommy?
- Tommy: Yeah?
- Chuckie: Hold on a sec.
- Tommy: Something wrong, Chuckie?
- Chuckie: Well, uh, yeah. You forgot to clean up the blocks.
- Tommy: Clean up the blocks? Uh, I don't understand.
- Chuckie: Well, when you're done playing with a toy, you put it away.
- Tommy: Chuckie, we're babies! We have parents to do that kind of stuff for us.
- Chuckie: [to Phil and Lil about Tommy] Guys, I can't take it anymore! Everything we do, he complains! "In my house, we do it this way, In my house, we do it that way!" What am I gonna do?
- Phil DeVille: I hate to say it, but...
- Lil DeVille, Phil DeVille: We told you so.
- Tommy: Phil, Lil, you were right! I can't take it anymore! Every time I play with a toy, you gotta put it away just right! The puzzle has to go like this, the teddy bear has to go like that, and If I have to watch "Space Trek Babies" one more time, I'm gonna quack!
- Phil DeVille, Lil DeVille: We told you so.