- Lenny Leonard: Look, Maude. God blessed us with another mouth to feed.
- Maude Flanders: More like a sinkhole that likes french fries.
- Lenny Leonard: Maude, when I look in that man's face, I see Jesus.
- Maude Flanders: When you look at everything, you see Jesus. I bet you're seeing Jesus right now.
- Maude Flanders: Maude Flanders: Oh, the baby's coming. Oh, wh-where's your father?
- Rod Flanders: Rod Flanders: He's delivering Christmas turkeys to the poor.
- Maude Flanders: Maude Flanders: That selfish jerk.