- George Cooper Sr.: Can you for once in your life take my side, Wayne?
- Coach Wayne Wilkins: It's not my fault you're never right!
- Meemaw: [singsongy, holding a chicken] Sheldon, I have someone else who wants to talk to you.
- Sheldon Cooper: What are you doing with that filthy thing?
- Meemaw: Why do you care? If nothing is real, then neither is the chicken.
- [Holds up the chicken; Sheldon leaps out of bed]
- Meemaw: Oh good. We're standing now, that's progress.
- Sheldon Cooper: Get her out of here.
- Meemaw: Well, I would, but apparently I can know what 'here' is. So maybe I could just set her on your bed?
- [Lowers the chicken]
- Sheldon Cooper: Okay, okay! I'll get dressed!
- Meemaw: Make it snappy.
- Sheldon Cooper: This still doesn't solve my existential crisis.
- Meemaw: Say what? You want to hold her?
- [Holds out the chicken]
- Sheldon Cooper: No!
- Meemaw: Less talk. More pants.