The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Monopolar Expedition (2009)
Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper
Photos
Quotes
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Leonard Hofstadter : Wait a minute! He offered to send you to the North Pole?
Sheldon Cooper : Yes. In fact, he was quite enthusiastic. He said "frankly, if I could send you tonight, I would."
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Sheldon Cooper : Did Han Solo give up when Luke was lying in the frozen planet of Hoth? No! He slit open a tauntaun and used its internal body heat to keep warm.
Howard Wolowitz : You heard the man. Hold him down while I cut him open.
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Sheldon Cooper : You're in my spot.
Howard Wolowitz : [to Rajesh] There's not time for a crossbow. Get me an icicle.
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Sheldon Cooper : Oh, boy.
Leonard Hofstadter : What?
Sheldon Cooper : I can't comment without violating our agreement that I don't criticize your work.
Leonard Hofstadter : Then what was "Oh, boy"?
Sheldon Cooper : Great restraint on my part.
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Leonard Hofstadter : She didn't seem that upset that I was going.
Sheldon Cooper : No. Did you think she was upset?
Leonard Hofstadter : No.
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, good. I got one right. Are you upset?
Leonard Hofstadter : A little.
Sheldon Cooper : Two for two. I'm on fire.
Leonard Hofstadter : I know she's not my girlfriend or anything, but don't you think she'd feel a little bad that I'd be gone for the whole summer?
Sheldon Cooper : That feels like a bonus question. I'm going to stop right here and say I've had a great time.
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[a comment Penny made has given Leonard second thoughts about going on the Arctic expedition]
Sheldon Cooper : Her missing you is an emotional state you find desirable.
Leonard Hofstadter : Yes, obviously.
Sheldon Cooper : All right. Well, given that missing you is predicated on you leaving, logic dictates you must leave.
Leonard Hofstadter : Yes, okay, but I'm gonna be gone for three months. What if she doesn't miss me that long and she meets someone else?
Sheldon Cooper : She does have a short attention span.
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Leonard Hofstadter : Sheldon, what are the words I can say right now to end this conversation and let me go back to sleep?
Sheldon Cooper : Odd. President Seibert posed the exact same question.
Leonard Hofstadter : How was it resolved?
Sheldon Cooper : It wasn't. His wife set their dogs on me and rendered the question moot..
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Sheldon Cooper : I'm at the horns of a dilemma. Can you imagine me, Sheldon Cooper, at the North Pole?
Leonard Hofstadter : Easy peasy. I'm doing it right now.
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Sheldon Cooper : Howard, you will be practicing precision on the classic children's game Operation. You shall start by... removing the funny bone for $200.
Howard Wolowitz : And to think I went to MIT for this.
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Leonard Hofstadter : Sheldon, can I talk to you for a minute?
Sheldon Cooper : [waking up] I want another cookie, Meemaw.
Leonard Hofstadter : It's just me
Sheldon Cooper : But Meemaw was just making cookies.
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Penny : Oh, Leonard, what time is it?
Leonard Hofstadter : It's 7 a.m. I'm sorry it's early, but we're leaving soon, and I needed to talk to you.
Penny : Okay.
Leonard Hofstadter : What did you mean when you said you're going to miss me?
Penny : Um, I don't know. You'll be gone and I'll notice.
Leonard Hofstadter : Okay, well, um, what about this? What does this mean?
Penny : Wine, credit card and late night television are a bad combination.
Leonard Hofstadter : All right, fine. What about that really long hug? What did that mean?
Penny : That wasn't a long hug.
Leonard Hofstadter : It was at least five Mississippis. A standard hug is two Mississippis tops.
Penny : Leonard, I don't know what to tell you. It was just a hug.
Leonard Hofstadter : Glad we cleared that up.
Penny : Yeah.
Sheldon Cooper : I guess I'll see you.
Penny : Okay, have a safe trip.
Leonard Hofstadter : Thank you. Bye.
Penny : Okay, bye.
[Behind her door]
Penny : Means I wish you weren't going.
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Howard Wolowitz : We're not really gonna go to the North Pole with him, are we?
Sheldon Cooper : I'm still within earshot. You might want to wait for my bedroom door to close.
[sound of Sheldon's door closing]
Howard Wolowitz : We're not really gonna go to the North Pole with him, are we?
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Leonard Hofstadter : [Corrects chart] There. How's that.
Sheldon Cooper : You actually had it right the first time. Once again, you have fallen for one of my classic pranks. Bazinga!
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Sheldon Cooper : I'm a theoretical physicist. A career I chose in no small part because it's indoors. But if I'm able to detect slow-moving magnetic monopoles there, I will be the scientist who confirmed string theory. And people will write books about me. Third graders will create macaroni-art dioramas depicting scenes from my life.
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Leonard Hofstadter : Dinner's ready.
Sheldon Cooper : What are we having?
Leonard Hofstadter : Reconstituted Thai food.
Sheldon Cooper : Did you bring the dehydrated low-sodium soy sauce?
Leonard Hofstadter : Check.
Sheldon Cooper : Freeze-dried spicy mustard?
Leonard Hofstadter : Check.
Sheldon Cooper : Flash-frozen brown rice, not white?
Leonard Hofstadter : Uh, oh, sorry.
Sheldon Cooper : Not to worry. I hid it. Bazinga!
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Sheldon Cooper : Leonard, you may be right. It appears that Penny secretly wants you in her life in a very intimate and carnal fashion.
Leonard Hofstadter : You really think so?
Sheldon Cooper : Of course not. Even in my sleep-deprived state, I've managed to pull off another one of my classic pranks... Bazinga.
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Sheldon Cooper : [knock, knock, knock] Penny
Penny : [knock, knock, knock] Sheldon
[Sheldon is startled]
Sheldon Cooper : [knock, knock, knock] Penny
Penny : [knock, knock, knock] Sheldon
Sheldon Cooper : [knock, knock, knock] Penny
Penny : [knock, knock, knock] Sheldon
Sheldon Cooper : [knock, knock, knock] Penny
Penny : [knock, knock, knock] Sheldon
Sheldon Cooper : [knock, knock, knock] Penny
Penny : [knock, knock, knock] Sheldon
Sheldon Cooper : [knock, knock, knock] Penny!
Penny : What do you want?