The Addams Family (TV Series)
F.T.V. (1992)
Rob Paulsen: Norman Normanmeyer
Quotes
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[In the Normanmeyer's bedroom...]
Mr. Normanmeyer : [waking from a nightmare] I'll have those mediums to you by Tuesday! Huh?... Fester!
Mrs. Normanmeyer : Eek!
Mr. Normanmeyer : How did you get in here?
Uncle Fester : Oh, through the hole in the middle of your living room floor!
Mrs. Normanmeyer : But we don't have a hole in our floor!
Uncle Fester : [holding a shovel] You do now!
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Uncle Fester : Morticia says I need to learn how to enjoy my time alone and...
[looks at a bandage on Normanmeyer's arm]
Uncle Fester : What are you going to do with that bandage when you're done with it?
Norman Normanmeyer : Get away!
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Mr. Normanmeyer : Wait a minute, a hopeless pinhead like you run a TV station?
Pugsley Addams : Yeah!
Mr. Normanmeyer : Why, never in my whole life have I heard of anything more ridiculous, more idiotic and... and bizarre!
Uncle Fester : [tears of joy] I knew you'd approve, but wow! Your enthusiasm overwhelms me!
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[last lines]
Norman Normanmeyer : Good night, puff cake.
Mrs. Normanmeyer : Good night, beef chunk.
Uncle Fester : Nighty-night, buckwheat!
Norman Normanmeyer : Shut up!
Uncle Fester : Oh, have to love him...
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Mr. Normanmeyer : [his house blown apart] It's not worth it... I think we need to move.
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Uncle Fester : Well, actually, Norm old pal, I came over for a little advice.
Norman Normanmeyer : How 'bout drop dead?
Uncle Fester : [sighs] I wish it were that easy...
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Norman Normanmeyer : Why don't you read a book or watch TV, by yourself? On another continent, forever!
Uncle Fester : TV? Yeah! Now you're cooking with gas! Oh, thanks, pal-o-rama! Wow! TV! I knew I could count on you when I'm down! This is just great...
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Norman Normanmeyer : [answering the phone] Normanmeyer's.
Uncle Fester : Hey, Normster, I think I've finally found my hitch TV stationist!
Norman Normanmeyer : Wrong number!
[hangs up. the phone rings]
Uncle Fester : But with all this new pressure, I'll be needing your advice more than ever! We'll be talking all the time! Won't that be great?
Norman Normanmeyer : No!
[hangs up. the phone rings]
Norman Normanmeyer : What?
Uncle Fester : I was wondering... should my meteorologist be one of those scientific types, or, eh, one of those wacky obnoxious ones?
Norman Normanmeyer : [dialing his phone] I got to go, Fester, I got another call! Hello?
Uncle Fester : Sorry to interrupt me, but I have another question...
Norman Normanmeyer : [Norman screams] Tell him I'm not here!
[throws the phone into his wife's hands and runs, smack into Fester]
Uncle Fester : Oh, I know how you feel, sometimes I'm not where I am either...
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Gomez Addams : [narrating amidst tropical scenery] Tired of your regular vacations? Tired of the same old peaceful scenic trip year after year? Then kiss the mundane goodbye! Call Uncle Goner's Travel Agency today for that vacation with a twist!
[a van is seen chugging along]
Gomez Addams : Marvel at the majestic beauty of the Grand Canyon!
[the van drives off a cliff]
Gomez Addams : Behold the titanic wonder of Niagara Falls!
[the van goes over the falls]
Gomez Addams : Relive the elegance of the Orient Express!
[the van goes into a tunnel and comes out impaled on a train engine]
Gomez Addams : Or, if, you dare, discover the behind-the-scenes reality that made Gary Indiana famous!
[the van is pulled into the train]
Gomez Addams : Uncle Goner's Travel Agency! Call now!
Norman Normanmeyer : [watching the advertisement] Oh, that's rich!
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Norman Normanmeyer : How would you like it if I took over your station?
Uncle Fester : You, president of FTV? Oh, pinch me, I must be dreaming!
Norman Normanmeyer : It's no dream, Fes, I'm dead serious!
Uncle Fester : Pinch me anyway, please.
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Mr. Normanmeyer : [points out the window] Say, isn't that a six-car pile-up?
Pugsley Addams : Cool!
[the Addamses rush over to the window to check it out]
Mr. Normanmeyer : [deactivating the satellite] Come on, baby, come on down...
[the Addams return from the window depressed]
Wednesday Addams : Darn the luck!
Uncle Fester : Oh, buck it!
Gomez Addams : Just another Johnson barbecue...
Mr. Normanmeyer : Well, I guess my eyes aren't what they used to be...
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Uncle Fester : [picking a beetle off the Mayor's shoe] Can I have this?
Norman Normanmeyer : Fester! Ewww!
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[Lurch moans]
Mr. Normanmeyer : For once, Lurch, we agree!
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Mr. Normanmeyer : Addams sickos!