- Madame Rouge: Okay, well, this is goodbye and has been a truly infuriating experience. And I only hope that in your time of need, you will be met one day with the same ineptitude and uselessness which you have shown me here today. So, I bid you adieu.
- Larry Trainor: I will say this. The one upside to being a zombie was the only thing I worried about was finding brains. It was sort of, I don't know, peaceful. Anyone feel like that? Okay, just throwing it out there.
- Cliff Steele: Bullshit! There's no such thing as time travel. 'Cause if there was, a certain sixth grade assbag named Jimmy Decker would've never pulled my pants down in assembly. And I never would've had the nickname "Cheeto Dick" for six years.
- Crazy Jane: That's what you would go back in time and fix?
- Madame Rouge: But when I think of him, I am filled with an overwhelming and immediate urge to punch him in the face.
- Rita Farr: That's him.
- Cliff Steele: Yup.
- Crazy Jane: Yup.
- Larry Trainor: Sounds about right.
- Madame Rouge: And now it's time for you all to answer my questions, starting with, "Where is Niles Caulder?"
- Cliff Steele: He's deader than shit. God damn, I love saying that.
- Victor Stone: How long have you been in our house?
- Madame Rouge: Well, long enough to see Bandages over here play dress-up with your dead bodies.
- Crazy Jane: No!
- Cliff Steele: The fuck?
- Larry Trainor: I was at a low point and wasn't making great decisions, okay?
- Rita Farr: Well, how can you possibly know what to look for when you don't know what you're looking for?
- Crazy Jane: So, are you gonna tell us who you are or does someone need to jam a foot up your peehole?
- Madame Rouge: Oh! Aren't you charming?
- Madame Rouge: [talking to herself] Okay, this is... this is good. You've a mission and a plan, and... and you're a bird. So you've learned so much about yourself already, you are almost there.
- Darren Jones: I got one hell of a tale to tell you. It's about a man who was on top of the world... He had it all. A career, a beautiful wife and children, a home that would make Martha Stewart shit through her mouth with jealousy.
- Willoughby Kipling: I did have a plan. A bloody good one. But as per usual, your dumbfuckery jammed a spanner up my arse and now you're zombies. Is it too much to ask for you twats not to fuck yourselves up so spectacularly?
- Willoughby Kipling: I'm sorry, who the fuck are you again?
- Madame Rouge: I'm a bird. And my name is Laura DeMille.