It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (TV Series)

The Gang Exploits the Mortgage Crisis (2009)

Brian Unger: The Attorney

Quotes 

• The Attorney : This family behind me has 90 days to vacate. Until then, you can't touch them.

  [Frank starts yelling] 

  Charlie Kelly : Let me handle this, Frank. It's not bullbird. He's making a few good points.

  [turns to lawyer] 

  Charlie Kelly : Look, buddy. I know a lot about the law and various other lawyerings. I'm well educated. Well versed. I know that situations like this- real estate wise- they're very complex.

  The Attorney : Actually, they're pretty simple. The forms are all standard boiler plate.

  Charlie Kelly : Okay. Well, we're all hungry. We're gonna get to our hotplates soon enough, alright? Let's talk about the contract here.

  The Attorney : I'm sorry, I forgot. Where did you go to law school again?

  Charlie Kelly : I could ask you the very same question...

  The Attorney : [interrupting]  I went to Harvard.

  Charlie Kelly : [incoherent mumbling] 

  The Attorney : What?

  Charlie Kelly : I'm pleading the 5th, sir.

  The Attorney : I wouldn't advise you do that.

  Charlie Kelly : And I'll take that advise under cooperation, alright? Now, let's say you and I go toe-to-toe on bird law and see who comes out the victor?

  The Attorney : You know, I don't think I'm going to do anything close to that and I can clearly see you know nothing about the law. Seems like you have a tenuous grasp on the English language in general.

  Charlie Kelly : [more mumbling]  ... Filibuster...

  The Attorney : Do you know what that word means?

  Charlie Kelly : [after a long, stammering pause, Charlie screams and crashes through what's left of the door]