The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Adhesive Duck Deficiency (2009)
Kaley Cuoco: Penny
Photos
Quotes
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[Sheldon is helping Penny get dressed without looking]
Penny : Now, you gotta help me get my arm into the sleeve.
Sheldon Cooper : Okay.
Penny : Is that my arm?
Sheldon Cooper : It doesn't feel like an arm.
Penny : Then maybe you should let it go.
Sheldon Cooper : [pause] All righty.
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Sheldon Cooper : We have to fill these out. "Describe illness or injury."
Penny : I dislocated my shoulder.
Sheldon Cooper : All right. And how did the accident occur?
Penny : You already know that.
Sheldon Cooper : Cause of accident: Lack of adhesive ducks. Okay, medical history. Have you ever been diagnosed with diabetes?
Penny : No.
Sheldon Cooper : Kidney disease?
Penny : No.
Sheldon Cooper : Migraines?
Penny : Getting one.
Sheldon Cooper : Are you currently pregnant?
Penny : No!
Sheldon Cooper : Are you sure? You look a bit puffy.
Penny : Change migraine to "yes."
Sheldon Cooper : When was your last menstrual period?
Penny : [in a disgusted tone] Oh, next question.
Sheldon Cooper : I'll put "in progress." Okay, turning to psychiatric disorders, list all major behavioral diagnoses, e.g. depression, anxiety etc.
Penny : Oh my God! What the hell does this have to do with my stupid shoulder?
Sheldon Cooper : Episodes of sub-psychotic rage.
Penny : Ass!
Sheldon Cooper : Possible Tourette's. All right, "moles, lesions, or other skin conditions." Soup tattoo on right buttock.
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Sheldon Cooper : Now, where is the switch to adjust the passenger-side mirror?
Penny : It's right there.
Sheldon Cooper : Where is the passenger-side mirror?
Penny : In a parking lot in Hollywood.
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Sheldon Cooper : While we have a moment, may I ask you a question?
Penny : What?
Sheldon Cooper : Why do you have the Chinese character for soup tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny : It's not 'soup', it's 'courage'.
Sheldon Cooper : No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny : How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon Cooper : Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.
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Penny : Sing Soft Kitty to me.
Sheldon Cooper : Soft Kitty is for when you're sick. You're not sick.
Penny : Injured and drugged is a kind of sick.
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Penny : Sheldon, look, I am scared and in a lot of pain. Could you please take a break from being you for just a minute and try being... I don't know... comforting?
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Penny : I slipped in the shower and I think I dislocated my shoulder.
Sheldon Cooper : Not surprising. You have no safety mat or adhesive stickers to allow for purchase on a surface with a low coefficient of static friction.
Penny : What?
Sheldon Cooper : Tubs are slippery.
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Penny : Warp speed, Mr. Spock.
Sheldon Cooper : Mr. Spock did not pilot the Enterprise. He was a science officer. And I guarantee you that if he ever saw the Enterprise's check engine light blinking, he would pull the ship over immediately.