The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Psychic Vortex (2010)
Johnny Galecki: Leonard Hofstadter
Photos
Quotes
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[first lines]
Leonard Hofstadter : Look at us! Getting ready for a double date with actual women who publicly acknowledge they're our girlfriends.
Howard Wolowitz : Yes. Actual women are the best.
Sheldon Cooper : I don't understand. What other kind of women are there?
Leonard Hofstadter : Howard, artificial women are your department. You want to take this?
Howard Wolowitz : Nah. It would just freak him out.
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Leonard Hofstadter : What am I supposed to do? Pretend I believe something I don't whenever I'm with Penny?
Howard Wolowitz : Hey, I'm sure Penny fakes all kinds of things when she's with you.
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Howard Wolowitz : I don't like to kiss and tell, but somebody made it to eighth base.
Leonard Hofstadter : What the hell is eighth base?
Howard Wolowitz : Seventh base with shirt off. Well, my shirt.
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Howard Wolowitz : [Watching Leonard melt his action figures with a laser] Are we taking our relationship frustrations out on innocent Cylons?
Leonard Hofstadter : Not just Cylons. Superman's next.
Howard Wolowitz : All right, I was going to try to squeeze in a little more mocking before lunch, but I can come back later when you don't have a high-powered weapon.
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Penny : Wow, that's all you got after you were the most obnoxious person on a double date that included Howard Wolowitz?
Leonard Hofstadter : No, I'm sorry. I really am. It's not right to mock what a person believes in.
Penny : Thank you. Would you be willing to go to my psychic and see what it's all about?
Leonard Hofstadter : Would you be willing to read a book that concisely explains how all psychics are frauds?
Penny : I would not.
Leonard Hofstadter : Okay, let's go see your psychic.
Penny : Really?
Leonard Hofstadter : Well, yeah, one of us has to keep an open mind.
Penny : You saying I don't have an open mind?
Leonard Hofstadter : No, not at all. Let me help you with this stuff.
Penny : You know, I believe in ghosts, too.
Leonard Hofstadter : Great.
Penny : And astrology.
Leonard Hofstadter : I know, and pyramid power and healing crystals.
Penny : Oh, no, no, no, crystals don't work.
Leonard Hofstadter : Really, that's the line? Psychics are real, but crystals are voodoo?
Penny : Oh, voodoo's real. You don't want to mess with voodoo.
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Rajesh Koothrappali : Namasté, white people! Good news. I've rented us the four-hour edition of Watchmen.
Leonard Hofstadter : Got it.
Howard Wolowitz : Seen it.
Sheldon Cooper : Detailed analysis posted online.
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Leonard Hofstadter : You know, the best thing about being in a committed, monogamous, mutually supportive relationship is that even if you have different ideas, you can have a spirited debate, yet still care for, even make love with... Want your fish? I knew you were going to do that. Doesn't make me psychic! Attaboy, Leonard, make it worse.
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Leonard Hofstadter : Your psychic didn't tell you I was going to be a jerk?
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Howard Wolowitz : I once dated a girl who believed she was abducted by aliens.
Leonard Hofstadter : And that didn't bother you?
Howard Wolowitz : Au contraire. It meant she was gullible and open to a little probing.
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Leonard Hofstadter : I hope you're hungry, Bernadette. We're going to a terrific restaurant.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Oh, yeah, I'm starved. When you spend all day in a bio-lab watching flesh-eating bacteria skeletonize small rodents it really works up an appetite.
Howard Wolowitz : Flesh-eating bacteria and yet I still wanna kiss this woman. What does that tell you?
Penny : That you'd be willing to die a horrible death on the off chance you'd get to second-base?
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Leonard Hofstadter : We're planning to have sex right on the salad bar.
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Leonard Hofstadter : You're getting career advice from a psychic?
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Leonard Hofstadter : Come here, you crazy, nerdy guy. I could never be mad at you.
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Leonard Hofstadter : Psychics are real, but crystals are voodoo?
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Rajesh Koothrappali : Then what are we gonna do tonight?
Leonard Hofstadter : Sorry. Howard and I are going out with Penny and Bernadette.
Howard Wolowitz : Yeah, no more carefree bachelor nights for me and Leonard. These broncos have been saddled.
[imitates horse whinnying]
Howard Wolowitz : How did we get actual women?