Jack Saltzberg: Self

Quotes 

• David Teitelbaum : [on crashing the Oscars red carpet as fake reporters]  My biggest reservation was that I didn't have anything to wear. And...

  Johnny Carson : Because that's a black tie affair.

  David Teitelbaum : Absolutely. And, you know, I went out and bought this sport coat for this occasion, so...

  Johnny Carson : Well, that's very nice - I appreciate that.

  David Teitelbaum : Thank you.

  Johnny Carson : So how'd you - how'd you come up with the wardrobe?

  David Teitelbaum : Well, Jack - Jack had a tuxedo. And, uh...

  Jack Saltzberg : I gave it to Dave; it was about four sizes too big, though.

  Johnny Carson : Yeah. Well, didn't *you* have a tuxedo?

  Jack Saltzberg : Well, I - I used my sister's black pants. So they were kinda small on me; my...

  Johnny Carson : Well, in Hollywood, nobody - that wouldn't... perfectly appropriate dress.

• Johnny Carson : I think you got a great future with that kind of stuff - I really mean it. Congratulations - it's fun having you here.

  Jack Saltzberg : Maybe I can earn enough money to pay off this suit here.

  Johnny Carson : Oh, yeah - yeah... Well, you won't have to earn too much.