The Penguins of Madagascar (TV Series)

The Red Squirrel/It's About Time (2010)

James Patrick Stuart: Private, Lab Tech

Quotes 

• Skipper : Problem solved. Now go invent something that won't destroy the world.

  Private : Like a snow cone machine.

  Rico : Snow cone!

  Kowalski : Snow cone, eh?

  [Cut to New York submerged in snow cone] 

  Skipper : Kowalski! You maniac! You did it! You finally did it!

  Kowalski : Yes, but you've got to admit, these are great snow cones.

  Skipper : Oh, yes. Definitely worth it.

• Skipper : Kowalski, progress report.

  Kowalski : Nearing completion on escape tunnel 15, Skipper.

  Private : Isn't that being overly cautious?

  Skipper : Even better. It's full-blown paranoia!

  Kowalski : No, I mean, we already have 14 escape tunnels. Isn't that enough?

  Skipper : Manfredi and Johnson thought so. What was left of them came back in a manila envelope.

  Kowalski : From Manila, ironically.

  Skipper : There's no such thing as "too paranoid", Private. Remember that and forget you ever heard it.

  Private : Um, I don't think that works the way you think it...

  Skipper : Eyes on the flippers.

• Fred : So you want me to pretend to be a squirrel?

  Private : You are a squirrel.

  Fred : Yeah, but I've never been a pretend one before.

• Private : Thanks a million, Fred.

  Fred : It was nothing. I've always wanted to travel in a cardboard box before. Did you know there's cardboard on the inside too?

• Private : You are from the future! Tell me, am I married and living in a cottage in Nova Scottia with one egg and another on the way?

  Kowalski : Um, no.

  Private : [disappointed]  Oh.

• Skipper : Private, listen to me. There's a Kowalski from the future who...

  Private : You have a future Kowalski? I have a future Kowalski! He says the time machine must be stopped.

  Skipper : Well, mine says it has to be saved.

  Private : Oh, dear. Which future Kowalski do we listen to?

  Skipper : I say... the one who lets me slap a hippie!

• Private : Don't you think we're taking things too far?

  Skipper : Never mind this conversation...

  [waves flippers in front of face] 

  Skipper : And forget it ever happened.

  Private : I don't think that works the way you think it does.

  Skipper : Eyes on the flippers.

• Private : Skipper, what's in the sack?

  Skipper : Our dirty laundry. Why? What's so suspicious about a penguin with a sack of laundry?

  Private : Nothing, except we don't wear clothes.

  Skipper : Well, yeah! Cause they're dirty!

• Skipper : That voice... That steely gaze.

  Rockgut : You sugar puffs gonna stand there? Spill your tater tots. Where's the red squirrel?

  Skipper : The red squirrel. Then you really are... Special agent Buck Rockgut.

  Kowalski : The Buck Rockgut?

  Private : Um, is that - is that some famous, then?

  Private : Sweet ignorant Private, Buck Rockgut is our greatest american penguin hero. I've patterned my whole life after rotgut.

  Kowalski : The bird who brought down penguin enemy number one: The red squirrel and may I say, it is honor, sir.

  Rockgut : 86 the kiss-up, fauntleroy. let's get to brass tacks. I caught the squirrel, all right, but big red broke out, disappeared in the underground. so that's what I did too. 47 years I've been down in this bunker, waiting for the red squirrel to show his fluffy tail again. 47 years.

  Rockgut : 47 years?

  Rockgut : 47 years!

  Private : Do you think the red squirrel would have shown up by now?

  Skipper : Private.

  Rockgut : College boy, huh? You see that bunker door? It only open when the red squirrel returns. Is it open now, dough boy?

  Private : Yes.

  Rockgut : Then red is back and you four lollipops are gonna help me find him.