"The Simpsons" Homer Scissorhands (TV Episode 2011) - Dan Castellaneta as Homer Simpson, Grampa, Hans Moleman, Sideshow Mel

Homer Simpson : Like Mozart and Johnny Knoxville, my genius cannot be stopped.
Marge Simpson : Oh, Homer, you make my toes curl. You really know how to please a woman.

Homer Simpson : As long as I don't have to lose weight or change my pants.
Marge Simpson : Homer, thanks to your unlicensed barbery, Patty and Selma have been getting compliments all day at the DMV.

Abraham Simpson : You two look good. Open-casket good!
Lindsay Naegle : I hear this is the home of Springfield's hottest hairdresser. I need a haircut, and I need it in 3-2-1 now!

Homer Simpson : Lady, I'm not a hairdresser, I just put a new lid on a couple of trash cans.
Hans Moleman : [Lisa catches him and Lunchlady Doris at Holding Hands Point] We're just trying to rekindle our relationship.

Lunchlady Doris : In the sack, he's Salsbury steak. Everywhere else, creamed corn.
Homer Simpson : One hundred dollars? Marge, how much is that in smackeroos?

Marge Simpson : A hundred.

Homer Simpson : Woo hoo!
Selma Bouvier : You did this? With your fat fingers and brain the size of a superball?

[Cut to cross-section of Homer's head, showing brain bouncing around until it comes out his ear and bounces away]

Homer Simpson : And stay out!
Homer Simpson : All day long it's boring, endless talk, and I have to stand there with a phoney grin plastered on my face.

Moe : [phoney grin plastered on face] Uh-huh.

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Grampa, Hans Moleman, Sideshow Mel