- Player: Hasta la vista, Fuller.
- Nostalgia Critic: [imitating Schwarzenegger] You do not have copyright of that catchphrase! I eat you! I eat you all!
- Calvin: [wearing a knight helmet] Smells like something died in here.
- Nostalgia Critic: Um, someone DID die in there.
- Princess Sarah: [Sarah and Katie share a tender, sisterly moment] I will always look after thee.
- [Sarah strokes Katie's hair as Critic pants like a dog and leans closer to the screen]
- Nostalgia Critic: [the scene fades; screams] NO! Go back! Go back! I wanna see them get it on!
- [the scene turns to King Arthur and Calvin]
- Nostalgia Critic: Son of a bitch! We're right in the middle of hot medieval lesbianism, one of the few things I want to see before I die, and all of a sudden it cuts to these two putzes? I mean, come on! What kind of sexual eroticism can they possibly get on with those two?
- Calvin: Never swallow.
- King Arthur: Never swallow.
- Nostalgia Critic: [stares, then screams] Go back to the lesbians!
- Nostalgia Critic: So Merlin transports him back and even allows him to finally finish his baseball game the way he wants to, getting rid of his ballphobia.
- [Calvin hits a home run and runs in slow motion]
- Nostalgia Critic: And that's not slow-mo, that's really how fast he runs.
- Nostalgia Critic: [as Merlin] No, no, I said bring me a knight, not show me cut scenes from Rookie of the Year.
- Player: Fuller, get me my bat.
- Calvin: [sarcastically] As you wish, your highness.
- Nostalgia Critic: Hey, act like the ball isn't gonna rape you and then you can talk back to the players.
- Nostalgia Critic: So Calvin and Katie go rollerblading through King Arthur's castle... wow, that did sound as stupid as I thought it would.
- Nostalgia Critic: Calvin and Katie go riding in the forest when they spot Winslet and Craig doing...
- [they're kissing]
- Nostalgia Critic: WHOA! Hot British SEX! I never thought those three words would come together, but WHOA!
- King Arthur: The people believe me to be a coward. The guards are still loyal to Lasko. We bide our time, young lad, and when the hour is nigh, we'll nail him.
- Nostalgia Critic: Yes, we'll wait until he kills me in my sleep, marries my daughters and takes his place on the throne. Then, we'll really get'em.
- Nostalgia Critic: What? You're gonna let him walk after all he's done?
- Calvin: You're gonna let him walk after all he's done?
- Nostalgia Critic: Even the idiot knows this makes no sense!
- Princess Katie: Is there nothing I can say or do to make you stay?
- Nostalgia Critic: [imitating Calvin] There's several things you can do to make me stay. You just won't do them.
- Nostalgia Critic: Hey, they're actresses first and sisters second, and that's good enough in my porno... book.