NCIS (TV Series)
False Witness (2010)
Michael Weatherly: Anthony DiNozzo
Photos
Quotes
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Special Agent Timothy McGee : Last time you did an expense report for me, you reclassified my meals as livestock feed.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Well, that was a little childish.
Special Agent Timothy McGee : I got audited.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Well, I guess that makes us even.
Special Agent Jethro Gibbs : [Entering] Great. Then I don't need to hear about it. Whatever it is.
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[Tony admits to Ziva that he's shaken to learn that one of his ex-girlfriends attempted suicide after he broke up with her]
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Maybe instead of having a mid-life crisis, I'm having a mid-life crazy.
Ziva David : [turns him to face her] Look, you are not crazy, okay? You are just... growing up. And some lessons are more painful as we grow older, when the stakes are higher. But... you need to find balance. And yes, yes, yes, yes, *yes*, you need to treat people more respectfully, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. But you need to be who you are.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Who am I?
Ziva David : You are... Tony DiNozzo. The class clown. That is why we love you.
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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : [Handing files to an agent] Get these down to Archives ASAP. They've been asking for them for 3 months.
NCIS Agent : Okay.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Agent McGee. Probationary Agent David. Good morning.
Ziva David : Looks like Tony.
Special Agent Timothy McGee : Doesn't sound like him.
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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : The old knife to the neck. Reminds me of...
Special Agent Timothy McGee : Reminds you of what? Reminds you of an old fraternity prank>? A Halloween movie?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : I know what you're doing.
Special Agent Timothy McGee : And I know what you're doing!
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : What am I doing?
Special Agent Timothy McGee : I don't know. But it's bugging me to such a deg-
[Gibbs slaps the back of McGee's head]
Special Agent Jethro Gibbs : I know what we're not doing.
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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : I know what your doing.
Special Agent Timothy McGee : I know what your doing.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : What am I doing?
Special Agent Timothy McGee : I don't know.
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[Tony isn't acting like himself]
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : There's a giant, feathered turkey laying in the fridge, and that's all you're gonna say?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : What am I supposed to say?
Special Agent Timothy McGee : Well, I don't know. Maybe something like "What do turkeys eat on Christmas? Nothing, because they're already stuffed."
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : You feeling alright?
Special Agent Timothy McGee : Yeah! Are you?