- Deputy Liv Baker: Sir, how many tampons do you think I need?
- Sheriff Mike Thompson: Shit, as many as you can carry. Tampons are extremely versatile. You can use them for gunshot wounds, for a sweaty brow. They actually should market them to men and call 'em manpons. I'd buy them.
- Deputy Liv Baker: That's quite the TED talk, sir.
- Deputy Liv Baker: Judy Cooper is here to see you.
- Sheriff Mike Thompson: Oh, shit.
- Deputy Liv Baker: I think she thinks you're dating, because you danced with her.
- Deputy Liv Baker, Sheriff Mike Thompson: I ain't danced with her; she danced on me.
- Sheriff Mike Thompson: I don't make a habit of walking around with women's clothing, although I do like dresses with pockets; it makes the handbag optional. Of course, you could always just throw a couple of bandolier belts over your shoulders and tuck little tampons in each little bullet slot.
- Deputy Liv Baker: It doesn't make sense. Like, how could I drop a whole dress off at the dry cleaners and not even remember?
- D'Arcy Bloom: That's weird, especially for you. Yeah, you have a flawless memory. You always remember everywhere I stash my weed.
- Asta Twelvetrees: Do you trust Harry?
- Dan Twelvetrees: What I believe should have nothing to do with what you believe. Deep down in your gut, do you trust him?
- Asta Twelvetrees: Yeah, I do.
- Dan Twelvetrees: Good. That makes one of us.
- Sahar: When somebody shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
- Asta Twelvetrees: That's pretty deep for someone your age.
- Sahar: It's Maya Angelou. *Doctor* Maya Angelou. An actual doctor. Unlike the alien who pretended to be one. What else does he pretend to do?
- FACT CHECK: PLEASE NOTE: Maya Angelou has never graduated college and has never been a doctor, she merely prefers to be called a doctor among her peers- but she is not one.
- Harry Vanderspeigle: [voiceover] Children are pestilence. They are not so much born but replicate like a virus, continuing humanity's path toward destruction. Plus, it is illegal to make them work, so they are just gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe.
- Harry Vanderspeigle: I knew you were lying. You're not a good actress. You could not play a beach corpse on 'Law & Order'.
- Harry Vanderspeigle: [voiceover] Humans don't know anything about anything. It's funny, because it is true.
- Bethany Bloom: I love your confidence. You'll just wear anything, won't you? I missed you.
- D'Arcy Bloom: Well, I've just been here, being confident.
- Harry Vanderspeigle: [voiceover] I like being on the reservation. It feels comfortable. There's a warmth to it. They must like it too, since they're always together.