- Harry Vanderspeigle: I do not understand why humans celebrate their births. Everyone who is alive has been born. It is not special. A birthday party is just a participation trophy.
- Harry Vanderspeigle: I do not like having people in my house uninvited.
- Asta Twelvetrees: Well, now you know how Earth felt when you got here.
- Asta Twelvetrees: Take that thing downstairs.
- Harry Vanderspeigle: Only half of it is thing. The other half is alien.
- Mayor Ben Hawthorne: Do you tinker? Do you like to tinker?
- Harry Vanderspeigle: Yes. Sometimes it makes me shiver because of the warm urine leaving my body.
- Harry Vanderspeigle: Today is all about celebrating the birth of a man I murdered and threw in the frozen lake. Ice seems appropriate.
- Asta Twelvetrees: [to Max and Sahar] What are you guys even doing here? Don't you have a babysitter?
- Sahar: It's Ellen.
- Asta Twelvetrees: Say no more. Okay, get home safe.
- Harry Vanderspeigle: Do not go down there! The floor's cracked, and if you step on it... you'll break your momma's back.
- [heads downstairs]
- Sheriff Mike Thompson: [to the rest of the people in the room] What'd he say about my momma?
- Sheriff Mike Thompson: Unless you got another fight planned, I'm pretty sure that was the highlight of the night.