L.A. Noire (2011 Video Game)

Aaron Staton: Cole Phelps

Photos 

Quotes 

• Cole Phelps : What have you got?

  Patrolman James Mitchell : Looks like a drug overdose.

  Roy Earle : Get away from him, Phelps. This is my case.

  Cole Phelps : Shut your fucking mouth. Since when does a bag man work a case?

  Roy Earle : I knew this creep was in on the morphine heist. A victim of his own product.

  [Phelps removes his gun and points it at Earle] 

  Patrolman James Mitchell : Hey, Detective? Can we back it off a notch? This is getting out of hand!

  Herschel Biggs : There's a time to talk and a time to shut up. Now is the time to be quiet, son.

  Cole Phelps : Courtney Sheldon was a corpsman, Roy. He served his country. He went out with a medical kit and an Army .45 and into places that made the Valley of Death look like a picnic. He was either naïve enough or dumb enough to get involved in the Suburban Development Fund along with the mayor, the DA, Monroe, and a certain crooked cop. He was involved in the morphine heist, but he has a puncture wound in his jugular, which makes this a murder case. He was a better man than you'll ever know. You say one more word about him and I will BLOW YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF!

  Roy Earle : You've finally lost it, partner.

  Cole Phelps : I have a pretty good idea why Sheldon is dead, and I know about Monroe. Your vast corrupt future is draining away as we speak.

  Roy Earle : I got better things to do than to argue the rub with you.

  Cole Phelps : Stay with him until the coroner gets here. Make sure Technical Services bags the evidence. If you let this creep anywhere near it, I'll come looking for you.

  Patrolman James Mitchell : Yes, sir.

  Herschel Biggs : You know, Phelps - you're not the worst asshole going round.

  Cole Phelps : Thanks, Herschel.

• Cole Phelps : What were you doing to the body, Ferdinand?

  John Ferdinand Jamison : Are you sure you wont be upset?

  Cole Phelps : Try me, Ferdinand.

  John Ferdinand Jamison : I was kissing her...

  [Galloway swiftly punches Ferdinand in the face] 

  John Ferdinand Jamison : It's not against the law! There's no law against it.

  Rusty Galloway : Shut up and take your beating like a man.

• Cole Phelps : I'm surprised, you know. I didn't make the husband for it.

  Rusty Galloway : Always make the husband, Phelps. Nine times out of ten it's the closest person to the vic who does the deed. God knows I've wanted to kill some wives in my day.

  Cole Phelps : Lex parsimoniae.

  Rusty Galloway : What?

  Cole Phelps : The law of parsimony. Occam's razor. The simplest explanation is most likely the correct one.

  Rusty Galloway : You know, you could have said that without getting all liturgical on me.

  Cole Phelps : I'll try to dumb things down from now on.

  Rusty Galloway : Appreciated. And try this one on for size: Rusty's razor.

  Cole Phelps : How's that go?

  Rusty Galloway : You blame the guy that's bangin' her.

  Cole Phelps : Ah, of course. The famous lex ignoramus.

  Rusty Galloway : It closes cases, Cole. Puts a lot of people away, that one.

• Leland Monroe : Can I offer you a drink, boys? Cigar?

  Herschel Biggs : Sure, I'll have a Scotch.

  Cole Phelps : Biggs!

• Cole Phelps : You fuck young boys, Valdez?

  Juan Francisco Valdes : Are you a madman? This will cause an international incident!

• Stefan Bekowsky : Get this - they used to be in a four-piece but the trombone player and the drummer OD'd.

  Cole Phelps : Don't tell me. Lamont and Tyree. We've met the rest of the band.

  Roy Earle : Now they're a no-piece

  [laughs] 

  Roy Earle : .

• Cole Phelps : How 'bout at the next junction you shut your trap?

• Rusty Galloway : This is probably another sad sack who lost his temper with a broad who wouldn't put out.

  Cole Phelps : Are you a suspect, Rusty?

• Roy Earle : What's with that get-up of yours anyway? I should start introducing us as "Detective Earle, and this is my science teacher, Mr. Phelps."

  Cole Phelps : Your interest in my appearance is starting to get me worrying.

  Roy Earle : Like it or not, we're a dysfunctional couple now. People judge me with you on my arm same way they would a fat broad with a five o'clock shadow.

  Cole Phelps : I really hope you're joking, Roy.

• Cole Phelps : I'm tired of your shtick, Morgan. Spill it or we take you out in the alley and we knock it out of you!

• Sgt. Chisholm : You dumb fucking sons of bitches, get in this line right now before I lose my temper.

  Cole Phelps : Excuse me, Sergeant, but...

  Sgt. Chisholm : Excuse me? Fuck you. You say another word and I'll break your fucking head and have you in the brig.

  Jack Kelso : Some of us are here for...

  Sgt. Chisholm : I know why you are here, asswipe... I'm having a bad day, Private. Some people don't seem to want to get on this bus.

  Cole Phelps : I didn't ask for your help.

  Sgt. Chisholm : He didn't ask for your help. Can you believe this guy? Who are you two, Abbot and Costello?

  Hank Merrill : We are here for OCS, Sergeant.

  Sgt. Chisholm : So it's the three fucking Stooges and you're here for OCS. God help this country and the USMC. The Japanese will do the world a favor and kill you quickly.

• Cole Phelps : [on the phone]  Phelps, badge twelve forty-seven!

  R&I : How can I help, Detective?

• Cole Phelps : Here's the deal, Airto. You give me information and I won't give you to Immigration.

• Police Chief William Worrell : You certainly had us fooled, Detective.

  Capt. James Donnelly : Phelps, you were one of my favorite sons. You've broken this old man's heart.

  Cole Phelps : Sir, what is going on...

  Police Chief William Worrell : You're suspended, Phelps. Hand over your badge and gun.

  D.A. Donald Sandler : Don't keep him waiting.

  Cole Phelps : What is going on here?

  Capt. James Donnelly : Your wife's attorney has pictures of you and the German. Compromising pictures, lad.

  D.A. Donald Sandler : She is pressing charges. You'll be formally charged with adultery. A criminal cannot serve as an L.A.P.D. officer, as I'm sure you are aware.

  Cole Phelps : I don't understand...

  Capt. James Donnelly : How could do it, lad? Your wife, your children... consorting with the enemy, and a dope fiend at that. You're lucky the war is over. You'd be taken out and shot.

  Police Chief William Worrell : The Department doesn't need this kind of publicity, Phelps. Now hand over the gun and keep your head down until your board hearing.

  [Phelps obliges] 

  Police Chief William Worrell : I forbid you to make any comments to the press. What the hell were you thinking?

• Cole Phelps : So something finally got to you?

  Herschel Biggs : You want my help, pretty boy? You got it. You keep riding me and you won't be pretty much longer.

  Cole Phelps : We can get this guy, Herschel.

  Herschel Biggs : You think you've seen everything, Phelps? I was with the 2nd Marines at Belleau Wood. The things that went on in that farmhouse... my own guys, on fire, screaming for a way out. We are not going to get this guy. There's going to be no photos or citations. We're gonna kill this miserable fuck. End of story. You getting this?

  Cole Phelps : You remember the list from the travel agent?

  Herschel Biggs : Sure.

  Cole Phelps : The Morellis were winners too. Their name was on that list.

  Herschel Biggs : Christ. We should take a look around, work the neighbors, see what they know. I'll go across the street.

  Cole Phelps : Okay, I'll try this side.

  Herschel Biggs : I haven't done this for years.

• Cole Phelps : We've spoken to the coroner, Miss Pattison. He confirmed your husband's cause of death. We'd like you to come downtown and answer some questions.

  Lorna Pattison : It wasn't me, it was Leroy's idea. Leroy stabbed him. I had nothing to do with it.

  Cole Phelps : Where is Leroy now?

  Lorna Pattison : He's in the bedroom.

  Leroy Sobo : [Enter Leroy aiming a gun at Lorna]  You're very good, Lorna...

  Cole Phelps : Put the gun down, Leroy. If you do something stupid now, you don't stand a chance in front of the grand jury.

  Leroy Sobo : Nice of you to give me up, sweetheart. All that whispering in my ear. Telling me how we had to get rid of him, how good it could be, all the money we could claim. All that planning. How to get him into the street, how to make it look like an accident.

  Lorna Pattison : For God's sake, Leroy, shut up.

  Leroy Sobo : You had all the bases covered, baby.

  Lorna Pattison : [to the detectives]  I had nothing to do with it.

  Leroy Sobo : You think I'm gonna fry for you, Lorna?

  Lorna Pattison : He's a crazy man. Shoot him. Shoot him for God's sake.

  [Leroy shoots her in the back] 

• Cole Phelps : I don't think they liked your litte pep talk, Bekowsky!

• Fleetwood Morgan : Help you?

  Cole Phelps : Detectives Phelps and Earle. LAPD. We're inquiring into the deaths of...

  Roy Earle : Hand over the popcorn, numbskull, before we kick the door in!