- Butch Johnson: My name is Butch Johnson from 5 Green Lane, Plymouth, Indiana, zip 46563-3781. I like shooting hoops and Ms. Kelly Ripa. But seriously, anyone seen anything to do with launch codes?
- Stan Smith: [to Bullock] Are you nuts? You hired my wife?
- Avery Bullock: So? I also banged your daughter. And remember your 4th of July barbeque. I muff-punched your gram-gram. She was just too senile to know it.
- Stan Smith: Work is where I come to socialize. Having Francine will ruin that. How would you like it if your wife worked here?
- Avery Bullock: Oh, I'd love it. Is there an opening for a woman who bangs every black man she meets in a Red Lobster parking lot?
- Stan Smith: [to Lorraine] Oh, hey. How's your ankle?
- Lorraine: Not good. Doctor says I got to lose 55 pounds. I said, "Well, I'm losing you. That's 200 pounds right there."
- Steve Smith: [to Roger] You know what? You're nothing but a drug addict. Birds died because of you!
- Roger the Alien: Oh, my God. Who cares?
- Steve Smith: Our partnership is over! I never want to see you again!
- [walks off]
- Roger the Alien: Then don't look in the night sky because I'm a star, and that's not the cocaine talking.
- [to the women]
- Roger the Alien: So, girls, tell me more about your childhood. Now that's the cocaine talking.