TJ Kirk: The Distressed Watcher

Quotes 

• The Distressed Watcher : Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic... that doesn't seem right. I'm wearing a jacket, I've got a tie, I'm wearing glasses. This is my site, I'm a guy with glasses. That Guy with the Glasses, that sounds like me. Wait a minute, I'm not wearing a hat though, I guess I couldn't be the Nostalgia Critic, I'm not wearing a hat. Maybe I'm Linkara, no, he wears a hat too, doesn't he? He doesn't have a tie. He wears a jacket, though. A lot of people on this site have jackets. Oh, I must be the Distressed Watcher! That guy sucks!

• The Distressed Watcher : Time for the SNIDE RECAP! Solomon Kane looks like Lord of the Rings with half the brains and 1/20 of the budget; Whip It is not just the title of Ellen Page's new movie, it's also the philosophy that said movie applies to dead horses with its cliched girl power message; Paranormal Activity looks like fairly normal activity for unoriginal Hollywood studios; Serbian Scars is a cut below the competition; This Is It is missing two letters from its title: an S and an H.