Kyle Kallgren: Oancitizen

Quotes 

• Oancitizen : I... I can't mock this. I can't mock this? Crispin Glover, you tactical genius!

• Oancitizen : Unlike the other films that I've done, this one might not make a lot of sense.

• Oancitizen : Ah yes, Bottacelli's "The Birth of R. Crumb."

• Oancitizen : You know, out of all the films I've done, this is the one that should have been called Shortbus.

  [audience boos] 

• Oancitizen : Ah fuck this in all holes. The guy gets a key from the other guy, there's some shit involving a mantis, and the other guy apparently dies.

  Glover : Good, he's dead.

  Oancitizen : The movie can end now?

• Oancitizen : Stephen Fry was a better Michael Jackson than you!

• Oancitizen : I don't care what your intentions are, Glover, this is not art. This is trolling.

• Glover : Shut up!

  Oancitizen : I agree.

• Glover : What do you call me?

  Oancitizen : Roll the clip.

  Mr. Fujitsu : [clip from Back to the Future II]  McFly!

  [Oancitizen gloats] 

  The Young Man : McFly.

  Oancitizen : [stunned pause]  You're good.

• Oancitizen : And sure, there's a lot of terrible stuff in this movie, but oh, there's a point to it. According to interviews, the entire idea behind this film was to throw a bunch of offensive stuff on screen and then ask the audience to question why it is offensive. So ask yourself, based on what you learned from this movie, why do you consider blackface to be offensive? Or the mistreatment of the mentally retarded? or the implication of Naziism in conjunction with a child star? You can't answer that, can you? All you're thinking of is why am I being tortured with all this terrible imagery? The Anatomy of Hell wasn't this gross. Ilsa, She-Wolf of the S.S. wasn't this offensive.

• Oancitizen : This is what arthouse movies must look like to people who don't watch arthouse movies.

• Oancitizen : Okay, now we know that Glover lives inside the man's head, and Glover's head lives in Glover's ass.

• Oancitizen : Ah! Naked Nazi Shirley Temple masturbating with a riding crop!

• Oancitizen : This... this exists.

• Oancitizen : [sees a guy with a deformed face]  Ah! Lon Chaney couldn't do a face that scary... oh wait, that's real. Wow, I'm an asshole.

• Glover : He thinks he is me.

  Oancitizen : He thinks he's his own self conscious? Isn't his subconscious already part of him? I mean, isn't that like saying he thinks he is his own right armpit?

• The Young Man : I am Michael Jackson. You are a racist.

  Oancitizen : First of all, I don't care how far you stretch your imagination, no one in this film is Michael Jackson. Second, tough talk calling him a racist when you're the one who put a noose around his neck.

• Oancitizen : So the movie ends with clips taken from other movies with music taken from King's Quest. Oh wait, my mistake. Organ music by Anton LaVey. This film has a direct connection to the Church of Satan!