Sanctuary; Quite a Conundrum (2012) Poster

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2/10
Well, it LOOKS like a good movie
Harold-1030 October 2014
Well, it LOOKS like a good movie.... but it is not. It has well-composed shots and decent lighting, which many of low-budget films do not. Unfortunately, it fails on many levels.

The initial problem of the film is the premise that kicks the movie into gear. The reason for the characters to NOT call the police is such a poor and implausible one that you cannot get past it. From here on, the actions of the characters in such a dire situation makes even less and less sense. This isn't to say that the writing is all bad, because the dialogue is decent at times. It's just that the plot involves too many people not doing the easiest and most logical thing. By the end, you just cannot wait for the credits. I know that is normal for a horror film, but this is even more askew than should be tolerated by even the most fervent followers of the genre.

As for the acting, a couple of people in this film did a fine job. The others, however... not so much.

All that being said, I do think that Thomas L. Phillips, the director, did a fine job and as he works more and more behind the camera, I think he will continue to improve. Thomas L. Phillips, the writer, however, should have given this script to someone outside his circle to read it over and give notes and suggestions... maybe even giving a re-write or co-write, before sending it to production. That could have saved the plot from being the disjointed mess it is.
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1/10
One of the Worst Films Ever Made
WhySoSeriousssss31 January 2015
All of the positive reviews must be friends of the filmmaker because this movie is a pile of bat guano. Predictable story, horrible photography, sloppy nonsensical editing and it has some of the worst acting/writing I've ever been subjected to sit through. It feels like the first feature of a film school graduate. After doing a little research and finding out who this filmmaker is, it's no wonder he'd produce something so tasteless and pathetic. He's got 4 features to his name and this is the first one released. Good job! You're winning at your career!

I expect literal SH*T like this from young filmmakers. Not men who look like they are a Fred Dursts older brother.
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7/10
Could become a cult classic
filmbizarro22 May 2013
Warning: Spoilers
If you've missed our love for Thomas L. Phillips's "Special Dead", then you've either not paid attention, or you started visiting out site recently. It's a bit of a favorite over here, especially when it comes to mid-to-late 00's zombie flicks and onwards. Phillips has since made a couple of other movies that have gone unnoticed by us (perhaps due to the genres), but with "Quite a Conundrum" it was Phillips himself who crawled out of the whole and made us aware of it. Free from the splattery handicap violence and zombies, "Quite a Conundrum" offers just as many strong flavors but in a different way.

The movie is set in the house of two sisters (or rather, their parents). The sisters are Mimi and Kylene. Where Mimi, the older one, is a slutty party girl, Kylene is young, reasonable and prefers taking it slow. Mimi's friend Tabitha is about on the same page as Mimi, where it's all about having fun (and embarrassing Kylene). Earlier that day, Mimi slept with a fat, old man who works with her dad and quite ruthlessly called him a loser. Later that night, she's invited to the friend of Tabitha's boyfriend, and joining the party is Kylene's Christian born boyfriend Harris. Many names, I know, but bare with me. When the girls and guys are in the midst of their party that night, the old man returns. And he wants an apology from Mini. One that he's not getting, which leads to him shooting himself then and there. Enter chaos, angst, curiosity, wackiness, twists and simple, mindless entertainment - the main things "Quite a Conundrum" has to offer.

You see, the plot in "Quite a Conundrum" is one of the things that I am split about. It does quite push itself away from logic (let's just say it's a night of TOTAL bad luck). It trips itself over now and then, but somehow it's fine. "Quite a Conundrum" is wacked out enough, with eccentric personalities leading the way, that even though it tackles certain plot points in a strange way, by the end of it all we're enjoying the ride. The ending is hard to explain without spoiling it, but it was really fantastic. It brings out an emotion that the rest of the movie lacked: it spent its time being witty and crude without much remorse, and the finale goes the opposite direction. It snaps us back to reality (even though the movie didn't venture far from it to begin with) by being extremely, almost over-the-top, emotional over a past action. It really struck a chord with me, filling me with an emptiness that lingered through the end credits. I don't know what Thomas L. Phillips' plans with the ending were, but I found that to be the part that made the entire movie worth it.

The acting in the movie is hard to judge. The characters are supposed to be a bit "too much" and that's hard to handle. But sometimes I think it's also in the hands of the actors. There are a few moments that just don't work. The characters get annoying, babbly and a bit too hip. Most of the time it's good, though, and I especially fell for Erin Cline (who I also referred to as cute in my review of "Date Night" - I'll stand by that here as well). Her quirkiness fits perfectly, where some other actors' might not. She has her lows too, but the majority of the film is held up nicely much because of her and Emily Rogers. Emily Rogers plays Kylene and she works as a steady rock to hold while things get messy around her. Her character is not free from change, but she handles them perfectly. I'm not discrediting any of the actors in particular, they all have their ups and downs here.

"Quite a Conundrum" won't please everyone, but those who do enjoy it might be finding their future cult classic. Without being very close to either, it's taking large pieces of great variety: plot reminiscent of "Very Bad Things", indie film chatting like "Clerks", twists-and-turns like "Scream" and an ending like an art-house movie. I'm aware that another review brought up both "Clerks" and "Scream", I'm not trying to steal here - it's actually the closest you can describe it as, while it still remains vastly different. No doubt, Phillips' has matured since the fun "Special Dead" but has not left his indie ways. It's not without some big flaws, but it won me over completely.

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9/10
Quite A Conundrum is a roller coaster ride of fun
kaytman16 April 2012
Quite A Conundrum is one of those rare things in film these days, a thriller that actually thrills. Where most commercial thrillers from the major motion picture companies are dull and formulaic, Thomas Phillips thriller is full of surprises. Every time I thought I knew where the film was heading it took a new unexpected twist that sent it rocketing off in a new direction. It begins as a comedy that soon turns dark, and then darker still. Just when you think you have the characters all figured out, they do something totally out of left field that leaves you wondering who they really are. If you enjoy the thriller genre this film is a must see experience, and one I can't wait to add to my DVD collection.
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7/10
A great lower budget film and a great script!
picassovegas-912-72415023 August 2017
The way this movie starts it made me think it was a comedy. The lead ladies are actually quite funny. In the films set-up parts of the film the girls were like real friends just talk trash, which was very funny. This film got a low score but I don't think it deserves. This film is a fun ride and definitely and original script and well written and I liked the rich ending. Well done film, and just be open and I think you will enjoy the ride.
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10/10
Quite A Conundrum - Quite AWESOME
mkhorrorfanatic24 May 2013
I'll keep it short and sweet. This movie is a crazy good time. It has a lot of bit of everything, laughs, screams, tears and jeers. I had no idea what I was getting into and that made it only better. Superb cast, superb script and just an all around experience. That is the best way I can describe this movie. It is an EXPERIENCE to watch, and everyone who gets a chance should check it out.

It combines every genre into one, horror, suspense, thriller, comedy, dark comedy, you name it and the movie has it. I saw the movie screener for a film festival I am a screener for, and while the movie was not made a selection, as some of the other committee did not get it or thought it was too harsh for audiences, it got my vote.
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10/10
My Review Of "Sanctuary, Quite A Conundrum"
ASouthernHorrorFan26 August 2014
"Sanctuary, Quite A Conundrum" is Thomas L. Phillips is the vows written for the unlikely marriage between trash cinema and horror."Sanctuary, Quite A Conundrum" follows a night of partying and sexing that turns into a cluster-f*ck of brutality and survival, when a disturbing event brings the party crashing down.

This story is nothing short of amazing, and brilliant. At first "Sactuary, Quite A Conundrum" kicks off with cliché overhypes that I was sure were going to annoy me. However ten minutes into the witty banter between the two lead female characters I was hooked. The face-paced dialog, timing and delivery of the actresses is spot on. The characters are an updated Valley Girl persona that feels relevant to a contemporary setting. Plus them b*tches was funny as hell! "Quite A Conundrum" starts off as a light, campy satire that, when the scene turns sour, gets dark real fast.

Phillips is as a modern day John Hughes. I felt the sudden sickening feeling hit as the story goes from one of light to total horror. His ability to both blend a satirical comedic air with an equal air of terror, without dragging the story down, is amazing. I felt conflicted the whole time. There is some completely nightmarish horror that takes place in the film, but there is some humor that cannot be denied. The story gets tense, then light-ish, before getting even more tense. "Quite A Conundrum" just offers a superb story from start to finish.

The special effects are the standard for a film driven more by high drama and basic action sequences. The kill scenes stay pretty equal to micro-budget level but come off, through great direction and cinematography, as high production value scenes. The blood and deaths are sudden, blunt force moments that catch you in the headlights of a horrific moment taking place before your eyes. Even then the ability of the cast to effortlessly sway between such dark material and the lighter humorous stuff is a show to the casts' talent.

The soundtrack is pretty stellar. A mix of thriller sound effects and contemporary tunes offer a mix of suspenseful tension and terror, balanced by almost MTV video quality atmospheric slow mo situations. There are small moments that seem a bit contrived but none that altar the entertainment value or overall energy of the film. But really there has to be, honestly the fact that based on Thomas L. Phillips writing style, it is nothing short of amazing that a lot of this film doesn't fail. "Sactuary, Quite A Conundrum" is a masterpiece and instant cult classic that everyone should see-not just horror and camp cinema fans!
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9/10
Situational Snowballing..and NO, NOT the sexual kind!
don-200-5509920 November 2013
The mastermind that gave us the 2006 cult classic "Special Dead" and 2007's Rattle Basket, has come back to deliver yet another blow to the indie film psyche...Only this time, the knockout was inevitable!! When I saw this I was attempting to multi-task, but the first scene alone thwarted that idea pretty damn quick, therefore keeping me glued to the screen for the entire hour and a half. Very few movies have the ability to do that to me anymore, but with this one, I actually caught myself doing double takes and out loud saying "Seriously, Really and OH COME ON!" quite frequently, as it's literally one horrible thing after another for these poor kids.

Thomas L. Phillips has put together a film that almost defies genre. Some would probably classify it as a horror, myself, I found it was so much more than that. This film not only brings a healthy body count and a good amount of blood spilling to the table, but it also keeps the watcher on their toes by adding the key elements of a variety of genres, including but not limited to; Comedy, Thriller, Horror, Action...and Baywatch. This film is a rarity in the fact that the entire cast did such an amazing job and was so tightly knit that if you replaced any one of them at any point, a lot of the effect this movie has would have been lost.

I have to go out of my way to tip my hat to both Sasha Ramos and Erin Cline as their ability to go from portraying the dread, stress and emotional instability their characters were enduring, to snapping out of it to quickly pull off a momentary banter of back and forth wit that can only be matched by the likes of Kevin Smith. I truly hope to see them receive an award or some sort of official acknowledgment towards their performance, and I hope to see them in more upcoming pictures in the future. I strongly suggest checking this flick out if you get the chance, weather it's at a festival or weather you get the DVD, as there's something for everyone here, no matter what your respective genre may be.

In closing, the best description of what to expect with this one...I dunno....If films could interact with each other, think of what the outcome would be if there was a drunken debaucherous night behind closed doors with Clerks, Very Bad Things and Dead Hooker in a Trunk...while Scream and Thelma and Louise video taped it for later use VIA blackmail.

P.S. - If you're wondering why I only gave it a 9, it's because I never give out 10's, giving something a 10 seems too fake and too doctored.

--Don
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10/10
I LUV this movie ~ It's now one of my favs!
nitrojill24 November 2013
Warning: Spoilers
I first want to say I give it a 10 because I so LUVD it! If I LUV a movie that much I will give it a 10! Not sure I'll give anything away but I marked it as possible spoilers just in case. I thought it was funny, twisted, suspenseful, dark, etc. I can't say it's a horror film cuz it didn't scare me but it is a horror comedy I would say. It's definitely a movie I will watch over & over. I have the DVD but when it comes to Amazon & I can buy it as an instant video I will do so then I can watch it whenever on my computer, tablet & phone. I thought the story was so fun! Watching this I felt like I was on the outside looking in at a 2 hour period of someone else's party! I didn't see any of it coming & it ended totally differently than I expected. I give reviews only to tell others if I truly liked or disliked a movie. I'm just not into all those wordy explanations cuz I'm not a critic. So If I don't give U enough I apologize. Just take my word for it, U will LUV it too!
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