Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (TV Series)

Water (2022)

Brian Cox: God

Quotes 

• God : Hi. It's me, God. I know I don't often do this but I just wanted to appear in person to make one thing perfectly clear: You can't pray your way out of a drought. Frankly, I'm insulted you even asked me. You got yourself in this fucking mess, get yourself the fuck out of it. I gave you plenty of water. It's not my fault you wasted it building surfing lagoons and golf courses in the middle of a fucking desert. Utah... your capital is Salt Lake City. It's next to a salt lake. A lake of salt. Taking the fucking hint. So no, I will not be answering your prayer for rain. For the record, I've only ever, ever answered one prayer: little Timmy Pendleton wanted a Hess Truck for his birthday in 1986, and I made sure he got one. The kid just really seemed to want that truck, and you know, maybe I felt bad about killing both his parents with that tornado. I don't know. There's so many things I'd rather talk about to you than your stupid, stupid water usage, like the meaning of life, or which animal I created by mistake - guinea pigs, by the way. The point is, I want humans of all faiths to come together and act like rational fucking adults when it comes to water use. Heed my words, my children, and conserve the once bountiful gifts of rivers and lakes which I created for you on Earth. Now... fuck off.