Resident Alien (TV Series)

Avian Flu (2024)

Alan Tudyk: Harry Vanderspeigle

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Harry is writing a poem about his love for Heather, the avian alien. He's saying aloud the lines as he writes.] 

  Harry Vanderspeigle : My love, it sweats / What heat remains in my chest / You are a light in the blackout / I'd like to touch you where the eggs pop out. It's titled "Bird Boner"

• [Heather, the avian processor from the Galactic Housing Council, has arrived via portal to collect the signed eviction papers she previously gave Harry.] 

  Heather : Look, just give me the signed papers, okay? And then the Housing Council is going to come, and they're going to collect you for eviction.

  Harry Vanderspeigle : You smell woodsy. I will sign them.

  Asta Twelvetrees : Please, Mrs. Bird...

  Heather : Oh, no. Don't come at me with "Mrs. Bird". My Earth name is Heather.

  D'Arcy Bloom : Oh, rhymes with feather.

  Heather : Yeah, it does. Wish someone had told me that when I picked it.

• General Devanney : How does an alien species dig an underground cavern in the middle of a national park for 80 years and we don't know about it?

  Harry Vanderspeigle : I can take that one. Humans are stupid.

• D'Arcy Bloom : I saw Elliot today. He has a girlfriend now, which kind of made me feel like shit.

  Harry Vanderspeigle : Why are you telling me this?

  D'Arcy Bloom : I don't know, because you're an alien. I figure you can't judge me. It's like talking to a dog.

• Harry Vanderspeigle : If you were happy that he was happy, then why is your face all mopey and your voice is like wet underwear?

• Harry Vanderspeigle : We have been brainstorming all morning. The storm has stopped and now there is just mud.

• Harry Vanderspeigle : We could talk about spit blankets.

• Heather : Hey, no one's ever taken on the Housing Council before. What's going on with you? You some kind of bad boy or something?

  Harry Vanderspeigle : Yep, I'm a bad boy.

  [breaks a pencil in half] 

  Harry Vanderspeigle : Oh. I don't care about it. I'm not even a real doctor.I killed a man. He was evil. I saw him kick a seagull. Oh. And stole its French fry. Uh-uh. So I killed him.

• Harry Vanderspeigle : I feel l-love for her. It's... it's like how I feel love for you, Asta, but it is different. It is not just in my head or in my heart, but it is in my pants. Is that why they call it "in love" because it is in your pants?

• Harry Vanderspeigle : Moldar skin is not gross. Moldar skin hats are the best hats.

  [singing] 

  Harry Vanderspeigle : Moldar skin. Try and rip it. You cannot.

• Harry Vanderspeigle : I am building a model of the Yellowstone caldera to figure out what the Greys' plan is to slaughter all of the human race, but I ran out of glitter.

• [Asta and D'Arcy are trying to help Harry from getting evicted from Earth by the Galactic Housing Council] 

  Asta Twelvetrees : They can't just make you leave Earth. We will fight this summons.

  Harry Vanderspeigle : You do not understand. The Galactic Federation has referred this to *soto voce* the Housing Council. *regular* I-it is over.

  Asta Twelvetrees : Harry, you can't just give up. We need you here, okay? I don't give a shit about this Housing Council.

  Harry Vanderspeigle : No!

  [puts his hand over Asta's mouth] 

  Asta Twelvetrees : *muffled* Mmf!

  Harry Vanderspeigle : You cannot talk that way about *soto voce* the Housing Council. It is very dangerous.

  Asta Twelvetrees : *muffled* mmm mmmm mmm!

  Harry Vanderspeigle : Sorry, I didn't catch that.

  D'Arcy Bloom : I can translate. It's mostly about losing a hand.

  Harry Vanderspeigle : [removes his hand from Asta's mouth]  Oh.

  Asta Twelvetrees : Good choice.

• Harry Vanderspeigle : There are many terrifying things in the world, but the most terrifying thing is love.

• Harry Vanderspeigle : She is perfect in every way. I have a strange desire to smell her. That would be weird. I bet she smells like a feather pillow locked in a hot car.

• Heather : You can't have feelings for me. Your species has no emotions.

  Harry Vanderspeigle : But I do. It's the human in me.

  Heather : You ate a human?

  Harry Vanderspeigle : No. I mean, the DNA.

  Heather : Got it. "Cause I was gonna ask you how they ... you know ...

  Harry Vanderspeigle : Taste?

  Heather : Mm-hmm!

  Harry Vanderspeigle : I don't know. Probably like ch... like, ah ... ha ha ha

  Heather : You were gonna say chicken.

  Harry Vanderspeigle : I wasn't, no.

  Heather : Ah, you were.

  Harry Vanderspeigle : I was gonna say chap stick. It's a tasty stick ... of wax.

  Heather : I've eaten quite a few of them.

• Harry Vanderspeigle : If you are happy that he was happy, then why is your face all mopey and your voice is like wet underwear?