This was at the end of a sci-fi film festival.
Port? Starboard? Really? It doesn't even try for the science part of it. You may as well be able to teleport by turning your blinkers on with this reasoning. It's just godawful. I don't mean to sound like a grinch, but there is no believability and all that is left is trivial dialogue going on forever. It brings nothing new, except to people who have never been in love or gone outside. Maybe I was spoiled by the taut thrillers that played before it, but if the writing was good I would have appreciated it on a five-dollar budget. This is what you get from an assembly of donations from Kickstarter stoners and it completely feels like a film school project about a film school project.
The entire plot about man meets woman, woman rejects man, man meets new woman, is so trodden through it's entirely predictable and a huge waste of viewing time. Like the film company's seemingly one-minute logo sequence and cheesy teleport sequences, it goes on and on and on so annoyingly. I don't mind something that uses really bad science, but doesn't then go on to pound the audience over the head with an explanation of it, which in this case unfortunately sounded logarithmically dumber by the second. We're talking Plan 9 bad and right on par with the power of three from Charmed. Imagine being off on a teleport because you didn't run fast enough... or you can simply see it here.
There is so much dialogue that could be trimmed and the drowning rescue looks like the main actor stepped out to a gym, worked out for eight days and came back. Aside from looking and talking like a cute, fluffy vulnerable secretly buff frat rejectee scientist, acting was just about done with two strands of his hair.
Also, movies are supposed to end before the plot spills over into the credits. Seeing a bunch of public domain photos all shopped up to suggest a honeymoon just did not cut it. This film takes the torch from Subterano.
As Mark Twain said, "eschew surplusage". Leave things under the surface instead of going on and on and on about fundamental things the audience would understand if they had a pulse. Bring some novelty on your next project, study your competition. I'm sorry to vent about the experience but I never wanted any part of my life back until now.
Port? Starboard? Really? It doesn't even try for the science part of it. You may as well be able to teleport by turning your blinkers on with this reasoning. It's just godawful. I don't mean to sound like a grinch, but there is no believability and all that is left is trivial dialogue going on forever. It brings nothing new, except to people who have never been in love or gone outside. Maybe I was spoiled by the taut thrillers that played before it, but if the writing was good I would have appreciated it on a five-dollar budget. This is what you get from an assembly of donations from Kickstarter stoners and it completely feels like a film school project about a film school project.
The entire plot about man meets woman, woman rejects man, man meets new woman, is so trodden through it's entirely predictable and a huge waste of viewing time. Like the film company's seemingly one-minute logo sequence and cheesy teleport sequences, it goes on and on and on so annoyingly. I don't mind something that uses really bad science, but doesn't then go on to pound the audience over the head with an explanation of it, which in this case unfortunately sounded logarithmically dumber by the second. We're talking Plan 9 bad and right on par with the power of three from Charmed. Imagine being off on a teleport because you didn't run fast enough... or you can simply see it here.
There is so much dialogue that could be trimmed and the drowning rescue looks like the main actor stepped out to a gym, worked out for eight days and came back. Aside from looking and talking like a cute, fluffy vulnerable secretly buff frat rejectee scientist, acting was just about done with two strands of his hair.
Also, movies are supposed to end before the plot spills over into the credits. Seeing a bunch of public domain photos all shopped up to suggest a honeymoon just did not cut it. This film takes the torch from Subterano.
As Mark Twain said, "eschew surplusage". Leave things under the surface instead of going on and on and on about fundamental things the audience would understand if they had a pulse. Bring some novelty on your next project, study your competition. I'm sorry to vent about the experience but I never wanted any part of my life back until now.
