The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Werewolf Transformation (2012)

Johnny Galecki: Leonard Hofstadter

Photos 

Quotes 

• Leonard Hofstadter : [waking up by hearing rhythm sounds]  Don't let this be Sheldon playing bongos. Please, don't let this be Sheldon playing bongos.

  [gets up, walks into the living room] 

  Sheldon Cooper : [playing bongos, "sings" to the rhythms]  Hello, Leonard, do you like my bongos? Bet you didn't know that I had bongos.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Sheldon, it's three o'clock in the morning.

  Sheldon Cooper : [sings]  Three in the morning is a good time for bongos!

  Leonard Hofstadter : I was sleeping!

  Sheldon Cooper : [sings]  Leonard sleeps while I play bongos!

  Leonard Hofstadter : No, he doesn't.

  Sheldon Cooper : [sings]  Leonard no sleep while I play bongos! Bongo solo!

  [plays wilder] 

• Penny : Why did you get bongos?

  Sheldon Cooper : Richard Feynman played the bongos. I thought I'd give that a try.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Richard Feynman was a famous physicist.

  Penny : Leonard, it's three o'clock in the morning! I don't care if Richard Feynman was a purple leprechaun who lived in my butt!

• Penny : So, if I move my horsey here... Isn't that checkmate and I win?

  Leonard Hofstadter : [long pause]  Hm.

  Penny : Well, is it or isn't it?

  Leonard Hofstadter : You know, I think this is a good stopping point. Uh... it's your first real game, I threw a lot of information at you...

  Penny : Uh, no, your king is trapped. He can't go here because of my lighthouse, and he can't go here because because of my pointy-head guy.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Like I said, complicated game.

  Penny : So did I win or not?

  Leonard Hofstadter : Did you have fun? Because if you had fun, then you are, you are a winner. And that's... that's what chess is all about.

  Sheldon Cooper : [coming in]  Hello.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Hey.

  Penny : Oh, hey. Sorry, Sheldon, I'll move.

  Sheldon Cooper : Nah, why? My spot, your spot... What difference does it make?

  Penny : Okay, what just happened?

  Leonard Hofstadter : I don't know. Between you playing chess like Bobby Fischer and Sheldon being okay with you in his spot, I'm guessing someone went back in time, stepped on a bug and changed the course of human events.

• Leonard Hofstadter : What are you doing?

  Sheldon Cooper : Trying to get the hair out of my eyes.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Sheldon, you are one day late for your haircut.

  Sheldon Cooper : Thank you for captioning my nightmare.

• Penny : You know, Sheldon, I used to cut my brother's hair. I could do it for you.

  Sheldon Cooper : Penny, I know you mean well, offering the skills of the hill-folk. But here in town we don't churn our own butter, we don't make dresses out of gunny sacks, and sure-as-shootin' don't get our hair cut by bottle blonde...

  Leonard Hofstadter : [interrupting]  Sheldon, be nice!

  Sheldon Cooper : I'm sorry. It's the bad boy attitude that comes with this hair.

• Penny : Sweetie, are you all right?

  Sheldon Cooper : No, I'm not all right. It's been six days since I was supposed to get a haircut. And nothing horrible has happened.

  Penny : Okay, I'm sorry, I don't understand.

  Sheldon Cooper : Leonard, explain it to her.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Oh. Uh, he's crazy.

• Leonard Hofstadter : I think this could be good for you. Maybe it's time for you to shake things up a bit.

  Sheldon Cooper : You're right. I should embrace the chaos.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Great! What are you gonna do first?

  Sheldon Cooper : I don't know. I could do anything. All bets are off. The world is my oyster.

  [hammers his hand at the table] 

  Sheldon Cooper : I got it. I'm gonna put on my Tuesday pajamas tonight.

• Penny : All right, Sheldon, this craziness has gone on long enough. Please come home so I can cut your hair.

  Sheldon Cooper : Penny, you're not trained, you're not licensed, and most importantly, you don't have access to my haircut records.

  Penny : All right, honey, look. We've known each other for a long time now, right? I've taken you to Disneyland, I kicked a bully in the nuts for you, I sing you "Soft Kitty" when you're sick, you've even seen me naked once.

  Leonard Hofstadter : I'm sorry, what?

  Penny : It's a long story. Anyway, Sheldon, I promise I know what I'm doing. Please let me cut your hair.

  Sheldon Cooper : Amy, what do you think?

  Amy Farrah Fowler : There's not a hair on my body I wouldn't let this woman trim.

• Leonard Hofstadter : Sheldon, you're a grown man, he's a professional, and your haircut is number three on that poster from 1946. Just sit down and let him do it.

  Sheldon Cooper : Fine. But if I come out of this looking like a dork, it's on you.

  [Sheldon sits down and Angelo starts preparations to cut his hair] 

  Angelo : So my kid did the funniest thing today...

  Sheldon Cooper : No.

  [Stands up and walks out] 

  Leonard Hofstadter : [to Angelo]  When you tell this story later, the word we usually use is quirky.

• [first lines] 

  Leonard Hofstadter : I'm just going to run to the store and get a few things; I'll pick you up when you're done.

  Sheldon Cooper : Okay. I-I like it a little better when you stay, but all right.

  Angelo : Hey, Sheldon.

  Sheldon Cooper : Hello. I'm here for my haircut with Mr. D'Onofrio.

  Angelo : I'm sorry. Uncle Tony's in hospital. He's pretty sick.

  Sheldon Cooper : Oh, dear. Mr. D'Onofrio is in the hospital. Why do these things always happen to me?

  Angelo : I could cut it for you.

  Sheldon Cooper : You're not Mr. D'Onofrio. I get my haircut by Mr. D'Onofrio.

  [to Leonard] 

  Sheldon Cooper : You believe this guy?

• Sheldon Cooper : I have spent my whole life trying to bring order to the universe by carefully planning every moment of every day - but all my efforts: our dinner schedule, my pajama rotation, my bowel movement spreadsheet - it's clear now; I've been wasting my time.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Good. I'm taking that disgusting chart off the fridge.