- Mrs. Snob: This doesn't look like John Travolta and Lily Thompson about to have sex...
- Cinema Snob: Well thank God for that, but seriously: the fuck?
- Mrs. Snob: It's Valentine's Day, how did a movie called Rape Squad get a higher priority?
- Cinema Snob: Have you seen my show for the last five years? We're lucky they didn't send an actual rape squad.
- Cinema Snob: [during a scene where several men in hockey masks are in a line-up] You know, there's probably an easier way to pick Kane Hodder out of a lineup.