Mike Jeavons: Mike J.

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Mike J. : Hello, I'm a British person, and do you know the perfect place for Beethoven's 4th?

  [shows a clip of Beethoven eating out of a bin] 

  Mike J. : That's right - in the bin! While Beethoven's 3rd didn't have any sort of story, it at least held my attention a little, what with those two idiotic bad guys and their incessant jumping into the car. But - and now I know I shouldn't do the conclusion at the start of the video - this one is just plain dull. And I mean dull! It's duller than a dullard on Dull's Day, eating a dull sandwich, in a dull ditch on a dull...

• [last lines] 

  Mike J. : This film is the single most boring thing I have ever seen in my life... and I've watched paint dry.

  [points to the wall behind him] 

  Mike J. : Seriously, that wall; it was a hoot! Nothing happens, and what does happen is drawn out and pointless. Thank God it was the last Beethoven film to feature this lot. Two down, two to go. I'm not sure I'm gonna make it. Pray for me.