The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Holographic Excitation (2012)
Simon Helberg: Howard Wolowitz
Photos
Quotes
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Bernadette Rostenkowski : What's that?
Howard Wolowitz : It's just a video Raj sent me of Buzz Aldrin.
Buzz Aldrin : [Handing out Halloween candy to trick-or-treaters] Here's a Milky Way. The Milky Way is a galaxy in space. I've been to space. Here's a Mars bar. I'm an astronaut. This one's a Moon Pie. I've walked on the moon. What have you done?
Howard Wolowitz : Okay, I get it.
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Howard Wolowitz : Astronaut Wolowitz reporting for booty... preparing thrusters... we have liftoff... are we clear to jettison that nightgown?
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Leonard Hofstadter : Have you noticed that Howard can take any topic and use it to remind you that he went to space?
Sheldon Cooper : Interesting hypothesis. Let's apply the scientific method. Perform an experiment.
Leonard Hofstadter : Okay. Hey Howard, any thoughts on where we should get dinner?
Howard Wolowitz : Anywhere but the space station. On a good day, dinner was a bag full of meatloaf. But hey, you don't go there for the food, you go there for the view.
Sheldon Cooper : Fascinating. Let me see if I can duplicate the result. Howard, I've always thought the lemon was an underrated fruit. Care to weigh in?
Howard Wolowitz : Not really.
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, well.
Howard Wolowitz : You know, people say the Soyuz capsule is a lemon. But, hey, that baby got me to space and back.
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Bernadette Rostenkowski : [They both walk into the back, to a couple already there] You! Out!
[They leave, she turns on Howard]
Bernadette Rostenkowski : You are being very rude!
Howard Wolowitz : No I'm not. They're all being rude, and you're being rude.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Me? What did I do?
Howard Wolowitz : [Almost robotic imitation of Bernadette's voice] Oh Howie, stop talking about space so much. Nobody likes it.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : [pause, then in a deeper voice, actually Melissa Rauch's real voice] I don't sound like that.
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Howard Wolowitz : Bernadette said you guys are all sick of me talking about my trip to space. Is that true?
Sheldon Cooper : Yes.
Raj Koothrappali : No.
Sheldon Cooper : We seem to have different approaches here. I was going for helpful honesty. I have no idea what you're doing.
Raj Koothrappali : It's called being nice.
Sheldon Cooper : Okay. If you think being nice will get him to shut up, I'll try it.
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Raj Koothrappali : Before I forget, I'd like your opinion on the menus I've prepared for the Halloween party. The theme is "Food that goes bump in the night."
Howard Wolowitz : Creature from the Black Forest Ham Lagoon.
Raj Koothrappali : On Sesame seed Bunzillas.
Sheldon Cooper : Night of the Living Garlic Bread?
Raj Koothrappali : It's funny because "bread" sounds like "dead".
Sheldon Cooper : I'm sorry, but these are just ordinary foods with the names bent into tortured puns. Uh, the dishes themselves are in no way Halloweeny.
Raj Koothrappali : [writing it down] Ooh, Hallow-weenies! That's a good one. They'll pair nicely with my "Draculoni and Cheese." How do I do it?
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Howard Wolowitz : Boy, it's nice to sleep in a bed with gravity again. Did I tell you about the night my retainer floated out of my mouth and into the air lock?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Yeah, you mentioned it once or twice.
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Bernadette Rostenkowski : Howie, I know you went to space. I'm incredibly proud of you. But you might wanna try and not bring it up every minute.
Howard Wolowitz : I don't talk about it every minute.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Tonight at dinner, you went on about it for an hour straight.
Howard Wolowitz : What was I supposed to talk about? We were eating at Johnny Rockets.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : I'm just saying, people are getting a little tired of it.
Howard Wolowitz : So, I did this amazing thing and I'm never allowed to mention it?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Of course you can. But maybe a good rule would be to wait for people to bring it up.
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Raj Koothrappali : [offering to help Stuart with his Halloween party] You know, you don't worry about money. I'll take care of everything.
Stuart : Really?
Raj Koothrappali : Yeah, you'll love it. Ain't no party like a Koothra-party.
Howard Wolowitz : But you know what wasn't a party? That hotel in Kazakhstan they put you up in before the launch. I mean, it's your last night on Earth. You'd think you'd get one porn channel.
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Howard Wolowitz : Oh, hey, Stuart, I got you a little souvenir from my trip to space.
Stuart : Well, Howard, that's very nice of you.
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, maybe. Open it first.
Howard Wolowitz : It's my official NASA portrait.
Stuart : "To Stuart. Your comic book store is out of this world. Just like the guy in this picture was."
Sheldon Cooper : For the record, he also thinks the Walgreens and the dry cleaners are out of this world.
Howard Wolowitz : That's not true. At the Walgreens, I was "over the moon" for their store-brand antacids.