Mike Jeavons: Mike J.

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Mike J. : Now you may remember a few years ago, I looked at Santa Buddies. So I think it's about time we looked at the Christmas dog-related family adventure kind of film again, don't you? After all, I suppose I did promise during my Beethoven marathon of the summer. Balls. Beethoven's Christmas Adventure; living proof that Jesus hates us all. After all, why else would we have to suffer every time his birthday comes around?

• [last lines] 

  Mike J. : Beethoven's Christmas Adventure - it is by far the most testing of the series; the villains are worse than the third, the story's worse than the fourth, the kids are more annoying than Big Break, and why the hell does the dog talk? It's not even used that much, which makes it kind of pointless! Now, I'm off to cheer myself up by having some festive fun with my sister.

  [leaves before popping back into the frame] 

  Mike J. : I'm gonna shag her.