The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Spoiler Alert Segmentation (2013)

Johnny Galecki: Leonard Hofstadter

Photos 

Quotes 

• Leonard Hofstadter : I swear, that man is the most egotistical, insufferable human being I have ever met.

  Penny : Yeah, but you two make such a cute couple. Like Burt and Ernie. You guys even teach me stuff about words and numbers.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Well, I've had it. I am done. I can't, I can't live with him for one more minute.

  Penny : Wow. Where are you going to go?

  Leonard Hofstadter : I was thinking here with you.

  Penny : [Looks shocked]  Oh.

  Leonard Hofstadter : That a problem?

  Penny : No, not at all. No, it's, it's great. It's terrific. I, you know, I just can't help feel bad about Sheldon. I mean, how's he going to get by without you? Ernie.

• [first lines] 

  Leonard Hofstadter : I don't know why I avoided the Harry Potter books for so long; these are great. Just started number six.

  Sheldon Cooper : That's a good one. Dumbledore dies in that one.

  [Leonard stares at him, dumbfounded] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Yeah, I know; I didn't see it coming either.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Why would you say that?

  Sheldon Cooper : You brought up the subject; I contributed an interesting fact on that subject. It's called the art of conversation. 'Kay, your turn.

  Leonard Hofstadter : That was a huge spoiler.

  [throws the book aside] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Good.

  Leonard Hofstadter : What is wrong with you? If I did that you'd bitch about it for weeks.

  Sheldon Cooper : Really, Leonard, are you going to have another one of your hissy fits?

  Leonard Hofstadter : Hissy fit? *I* have hissy fits?

  Sheldon Cooper : Yes, and I have a theory why. Because of your lactose intolerance, you switched over to soy milk. Soy contains estrogen-mimicking compounds. I think your morning Cocoa Puffs are turning you into a hysterical woman.

  Leonard Hofstadter : You are unbelievable! I don't know why I put up with you. You know, you're controlling, you're irritating...

  Sheldon Cooper : There you go again! Nag, nag, nag! You're only proving my point, little lady.

  Leonard Hofstadter : You know what? Screw you, Sheldon! You are the most annoying person I ever met.

  Sheldon Cooper : Wha- I'm annoying? You criticize my behavior all the time. "Sheldon, don't talk about your bowel movements over breakfast." "Sheldon, when the president of the university is giving a eulogy at a funeral, don't yawn and point at your watch." "Sheldon, don't throw away my shirts cause you think they're ugly." You're impossible.

  Leonard Hofstadter : That's it. I don't. I don't have to put up with this.

  Sheldon Cooper : Actually, I have your signature on a roommate agreement that says you do.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Aaaw, here's what I think of your roommate agreement!

  [he throws it in the waste-paper basket] 

  Sheldon Cooper : [Sheldon gasps]  You pick that up right now.

  Leonard Hofstadter : No.

  Sheldon Cooper : You- Roommate agreement, section twenty-seven, paragraph five: "The roommate agreement, like the American flag, cannot touch the ground."

  Leonard Hofstadter : I don't care. I don't have to do anything you say because... I don't think I want to live here any more.

  Sheldon Cooper : Where are you going?

  Leonard Hofstadter : To live with Penny, and not you, you crazy bastard.

• Leonard Hofstadter : Sorry, you're too late. And spoiler alert, I'm about to slam this door on your face.

• Leonard Hofstadter : He's got Amy now.

  Penny : Yeah, he does, but... it's not the same.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Why?

  Penny : Um... well, um... all right, you... you remember in "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" Ron didn't abandon Harry just because Harry started dating Ron's sister?

  Leonard Hofstadter : [exasperated by another spoiler]  Harry and Ginny get together?

  Penny : Sorry. Spoiler alert!

• Leonard Hofstadter : I swear, that man is the most egotistical, insufferable human being I have ever met.

  Penny : Yeah, but you two make such a cute couple. Like Bert and Ernie. You guys even teach me stuff about *words* and *numbers*.

• Penny : As much as I want to live with you, I can't do it knowing how much Sheldon needs you.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Please. The only thing he needs me for is to be his whipping boy, his... his stooge, his doormat.

  Penny : Well, you know what they say, if it ain't broke...

• Leonard Hofstadter : Since when don't you want to live with me?

  Penny : Oh, don't get all huffy. You're the one who decided to move in without even asking me if I was ready.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Let's talk about that.