The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Tangible Affection Proof (2013)

Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Sheldon Cooper : Well, in conclusion, I believe the painful sensation felt after passing a meal of spicy chilies is proof that the rectum does possess the sense of taste.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : I concur, but you changed the subject. What are we doing for Valentine's Day?

  Sheldon Cooper : Oh, you got that, didja?

• Alex Jensen : Well, um, I know she loves playing the harp, so I found this

  [pulls out harp-shaped music box] 

  Alex Jensen : beautiful music box that plays one of her favorite songs.

  Sheldon Cooper : Now, Amy already has a real harp, and it can play any song. What are you trying to pull here?

  Alex Jensen : Well, I just thought it would be...

  Sheldon Cooper : [sounding like a game-show buzzer]  Nexxxt!

  Alex Jensen : OK, um, I know she's a fan of the Canterbury Tales,

  Sheldon Cooper : Mmmm.

  Alex Jensen : so I found this cool map that illustrates the characters' journey through England. I thought we could put it in a really nice frame.

  Sheldon Cooper : But she's got Google Maps on her phone.

  Alex Jensen : I don't know how to respond to that.

  Sheldon Cooper : Well, I hope it's with a third good option, because these first two - Bleah...

  Alex Jensen : OK. Well, uh, luckily, I saved the best for last. Since Amy's a neuroscientist, I did some research and found out that Santiago Ramón y Cajal, the father of modern neuroscience, did lots of hand drawings of brain cells, and I managed to find this signed print.

  Sheldon Cooper : Wow. Oh, this is truly remarkable.

  Alex Jensen : Thank you.

  Sheldon Cooper : I think I'll keep it for myself.

  Alex Jensen : What about your girlfriend?

  Sheldon Cooper : It's too late, I called dibs.

• Amy Farrah Fowler : And I appreciate your effort, but upon contemplation, I decided I was being selfish. So, I cancelled our dinner reservations and came up with an even better way to celebrate Valentine's Day.

  Sheldon Cooper : What is that?

  Amy Farrah Fowler : By doing none of it. No dinner, no romance, no gifts. We stay here, order a pizza and watch one of your beloved Star War Trek things.

  Sheldon Cooper : Really?

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Well, that's what you'd love, isn't it?

  Sheldon Cooper : More than anything.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Well, then, that's what we're going to do.

  Sheldon Cooper : Well, I don't know what to say. This is the most thoughtful gift that anyone's ever given me. And that's including an amazing gift that I gave myself earlier today.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : 'm your girlfriend. That's my job. And I know gift-giving puts a lot of pressure on you, so whatever you got me, you can return.

  Sheldon Cooper : No. No, after everything you didn't do for me tonight, I want you to have it.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : What's this?

  Sheldon Cooper : Read it.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Sheldon Cooper, Caltech University employee information?

  Sheldon Cooper : At the bottom.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : In case of emergency, please contact... Amy Farrah Fowler. And there's my phone number. This is the most beautiful gift you could've ever given me.

  Sheldon Cooper : Well, I thought, if I have a stroke or a kidney stone, who would I want to share that with?

  Amy Farrah Fowler : And you picked me.

  Sheldon Cooper : It's like you said, you're my girlfriend.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Oh, Sheldon.

  [Hugs him] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Yeah. Okay. Stop ruining Valentine's Day and order my pizza.

• Sheldon Cooper : My socks are on, let's knock 'em off.

• Sheldon Cooper : Ah, Alex, excellent. I have a research problem that I believe you can help with.

  Alex Jensen : Oh, Dr. Cooper, thank you. I've been waiting for an opportunity to contribute to your scientific work.

  Sheldon Cooper : Oh, no, no. That's not going to happen, no. What I need you to do is find a Valentine's gift for my girlfriend.

  Alex Jensen : You realize I passed up an opportunity to work at Fermilab to take this job with you.

  Sheldon Cooper : Well, I guess those chaps'll have to have someone else buy their girlfriends' presents. Now, here is, let's see, this is... this is about two thousand dollars. Um, I think she likes monkeys and the color grey.

  [Alex leaves] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Contribute to my work. Ah, kids say the darnedest things.