Photos
Quotes
-
Jeff Winger : Well, I can't stop thinking this school might be in trouble because of this bridge-collapsing guy.
Britta Perry : He's the one making bad bridges. That's like me blaming owls for how much I suck at analogies.
-
Jeff Winger : You're an amateur monster, Alan, and you stomped on the grave of a real monster, who was willing to stay buried, because real monsters have shame. Because they wish that - You're not worth the monologue.
-
Jeff Winger : What's important is that, no matter what, we'll all be trying to talk Britta into doing something different... together.
-
Dean Pelton : It's not easy being Dean, Jeffrey!
Jeff Winger : Then stop being the Dean!
Dean Pelton : It's my whole ideantity! I mean, wah, see what I did there? That's proof!
Jeff Winger : Get your crap together. Your job is not to hand out degrees. Your job is to make this a toilet that people don't have to be crazy to care about.
Dean Pelton : But you could stay here and help me save the school.
Jeff Winger : For how much money?
Dean Pelton : I-I can't offer you any money. I could offer you a job.
Jeff Winger : You just described slavery.
-
Dean Pelton : You're here to save me, aren't you?
Jeff Winger : Yes. I thought I might contact alumni to form a committee... The Save Greendale Committee. Working title.
Dean Pelton : Jeffrey, I'm gonna cry.
Jeff Winger : Please don't.
Dean Pelton : Request denied.
-
Jeff Winger : Look, I might be broke, desperate, and nearly homeless, but I still got one thing deep down inside that gives me power...
[the man taking away his furniture takes the whisky glass form his hand]
Jeff Winger : That was it. That was all I had.
-
Alan Connor : You hear about that bridge that collapsed upstate?
Jeff Winger : A human could've said that without salivating.
Alan Connor : I represent Marvin Humphries, the engineer who designed it. He wants to seek damages.
Jeff Winger : From what? His own pencil?
-
Jeff Winger : Troy, your entire identity has been consumed by your relationship with another man.
Troy Barnes : You found my Clive Owen Tumblr.
-
Jeff Winger : I forgot what it was like to be good at being bad.
-
Ben Chang : I'm on work release from house arrest, but I don't have a home. See this? This won't let me travel 100 yards from this, and this only has a 30-yard cord. So I can only travel...
[tries to figure it out]
Ben Chang : Whatever, you do the math.
Jeff Winger : You said you teach math.
Ben Chang : Exactly. I teach it. You do it.
