Jessie (TV Series)
G.I. Jessie (2013)
Cameron Boyce: Luke Ross
Quotes
-
Darla Shannon : [sees Jessie splattered in food and approaches her] Jessie?
[walks over to Jessie's table]
Darla Shannon : Jessie Prescott, is that you?
[chuckles]
Darla Shannon : I see you're still having trouble with your table manners!
Jessie Prescott : [annoyed] Hey Darla.
[sarcastically]
Jessie Prescott : Nice to see you too.
Zuri Ross : *That's* Darla? She doesn't look like a witch!
Jessie Prescott : Oh yeah? Throw some water on her and we can send her home in a bucket!
Darla Shannon : [Jessie and Darla laugh slightly] I see you're still babysitting! What happened to that big acting career you were gonna have?
Jessie Prescott : Oh, it's... it's going well. It just takes time.
Darla Shannon : Talent might help too. Meanwhile, I've been travelling all over the world as a flight attendant!
Jessie Prescott : Really? Cuz, I heard you were on the Galveston to Amarillo run. Luckily, I don't have a job where I have to run around waiting on people!
Ravi Ross : Jessie, I need milk!
Luke Ross : Jessie, take my tray!
Zuri Ross : Jessie, my nose is still runny!
Darla Shannon : At least they're calling you. Unlike *all* the boys in high school!
Luke Ross : [approaching Darla, annoyed] Hey, that's my lady you're talking to!
Darla Shannon : You finally did catch a man! But this one's so small, you might wanna throw him back!
-
Bertram : [opening lines] No! No! *NO!*
Jessie Prescott : You just have to watch the kids for one measly weekend.
[begging Bertram]
Jessie Prescott : Please?
Bertram : No! Walking away. Don't follow!
[Jessie walks behind Bertram]
Bertram : You're following.
Jessie Prescott : Bertram, it's a big deal that my dad invited me home! He was *really* mad when I left for New York instead of joining the military.
Bertram : Just think how glad the military was.
Jessie Prescott : Please! This is my chance to clear the air with him and prove that I made the right decision!
Bertram : By being a failed actress and a mediocre nanny?
[Bertram chuckles to himself]
Jessie Prescott : OK, I may not have joined the military; but I can still still snap your windpipe with one finger.
[Jessie holds up her pinky finger at Bertram]
Bertram : [referring to the children] Better that than taking care of *those* monsters!
Jessie Prescott : Please! They're such good kids! What could possibly go wrong?
Emma Ross : [cutting to the Ross kids firing a rocket and beginning a countdown in the lounge room] Three!
Luke Ross : Two!
Ravi Ross : One!
Zuri Ross : BLAST OFF!
[Ravi launches the rocket, and then it hits the roof; and the water tower; getting Jessie and Bertram all wet]
Bertram : [pointing at the roof; and the water tower that got blown up by the rocket] That.
Luke Ross : [staring at the roof] I can't believe we blew up the water tower.
[pause]
Luke Ross : AWESOME!
[Jessie stares at the kids, shocked]
Emma Ross : Ravi, you said it would only go up 15 feet!
Ravi Ross : Oops! It turns out rocket science is as difficult as... well, rocket science!
[Jessie looks at Ravi, all wet, thinking "You think?"]
Zuri Ross : On the plus side, now we have a skylight!
Ravi Ross : [to Jessie, thinking she was going to send them to their rooms] Jessie, please do not send us to our rooms. Especially since the structure of the roof has been compromised.
Jessie Prescott : [getting every bit of debris and water out of her hair and letting the kids know about their punishment] Oh, you're not going to your rooms! You're going to spend the weekend on a military base. In Texas!
Emma Ross : [in horror at the thought of going to Texas and yelling at the roof and echoing] NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
[it echoes through the penthouse and throughout New York City]
-
Darla Shannon : [Darla stands up to the podium; delivering her speech] OK. Um, I am so glad that my mum is marrying J.W.
[looks at Jessie]
Darla Shannon : I have always admired his daughter, Jessie.
Jessie Prescott : [to the soldier next to her at the table, under her breath] Wait for it...
Darla Shannon : [continues her speech] Not everyone could fail so miserably at acting, and still has the courage to keep trying; even though she keeps getting rejected over, and over and *over*!
Jessie Prescott : [under her breath] And there it is!
Darla Shannon : Kind of like the way she was rejected by all the boys in high school! She was so unpopular, that even the vending machines rejected her quarters!
Jessie Prescott : [shoving Darla out of the way, delivering her speech] OK! Alright, thank you, Darla!
[sarcastically]
Jessie Prescott : That was fascinating! Just like your stories about collecting barf bags at 30,000 feet! And your "how to put on a seatbelt" speech is always a big hit at parties!
Darla Shannon : [shoving Jessie out of the way, continues her speech] OK, and I know whenever I need advice, Jessie will always be there, because Lord knows, she's never out on a *date*!
Jessie Prescott : [shoves Darla out of the way, continues her speech]
[clapping sarcastically]
Jessie Prescott : Let's hear it for Darla Shannon! If her name sounds familiar, it's probably because you wrote a complaint letter to an airline about her!
[Jessie and Darla mock laugh, and then scowl at each other]
Luke Ross : [while Darla and Jessie are trading insults at the rehearsal brunch, Luke, Zuri and Ravi are doing wheelies in the B.A.T] THIS IS AWESOME!
Zuri Ross : [Zuri whoops and shouts] THIS IS FUN!
Ravi Ross : [Ravi hands on for dear life in fear] THIS IS GOING TO BE THE DAY I DIE! AND I WAS SO LOOKING FORWARD TO PUBERTY!
[the kids hit the brakes and they stop near the mess hall, where the rehearsal brunch is taking place]
Jessie Prescott : [10 minutes later, the insults between Jessie and Darla continue] You should've seen Darla's face in high school! The moon had less craters! Then again, the moon didn't eat four personal pan pizzas for lunch every day!
Darla Shannon : [shoving Jessie out of the way] OK, at least I didn't have to eat with the cafeteria lady!
Jessie Prescott : [shoving Darla out of the way] Olga was a sparkling conversationalist! At least, I assume so. I don't speak Russian.
